God writes a lot of comedy-the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny.

Quote by Garrison Keillor

Topics: Hilarious Quotes, Life Quotes

Lake Wobegon, the little town that time forgot and the decades cannot improve.

Lake Wobegon, the little town that time forgot and the decades cannot improve.

It was luxuries like air conditioning that brought down the Roman Empire. With air conditioning...

It was luxuries like air conditioning that brought down the Roman Empire. With air conditioning...

It (The New York Times) reads like it was edited by two elderly sociologists, one...

It (The New York Times) reads like it was edited by two elderly sociologists, one...

They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad...

They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad...

God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad...

God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad...

I believe in looking reality straight in the eye and denying it.

I believe in looking reality straight in the eye and denying it.

Sometimes you have to look reality in the eye, and deny it.

Sometimes you have to look reality in the eye, and deny it.

A girl in a bikini is like having a loaded pistol on your coffee table...

A girl in a bikini is like having a loaded pistol on your coffee table...

Where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking and all the children...

Where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking and all the children...

That's the news from Lake Wobegon, where all the women are strong, all the men...

That's the news from Lake Wobegon, where all the women are strong, all the men...

It's a shallow life that doesn't give a person a few scars.

It's a shallow life that doesn't give a person a few scars.

A book is a gift you can open again and again.

A book is a gift you can open again and again.

They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad...

They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad...

Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a purpose.

Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a purpose.

A book is a gift you can open again and again.

A book is a gift you can open again and again.

Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function

Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function

I'm not busy... a woman with three children under the age of 10 wouldn't think...

I'm not busy... a woman with three children under the age of 10 wouldn't think...

Beauty isn't worth thinking about; what's important is your mind. You don't want a fifty-dollar...

Beauty isn't worth thinking about; what's important is your mind. You don't want a fifty-dollar...

Beauty is a form of genius - is higher, indeed, than genius, as it needs...

Beauty is a form of genius - is higher, indeed, than genius, as it needs...

Pretty is something you're born with. But beautiful, that's an equal opportunity adjective.

Pretty is something you're born with. But beautiful, that's an equal opportunity adjective.

A vacant mind is open to all suggestions, as a hollow mountain returns all sounds

A vacant mind is open to all suggestions, as a hollow mountain returns all sounds