It (The New York Times) reads like it was edited by two elderly sociologists, one of whom has been dead for many years

Quote by Garrison Keillor

Topics: Elderly Quotes

They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad...

They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad...

I believe in looking reality straight in the eye and denying it.

I believe in looking reality straight in the eye and denying it.

A good newspaper is never nearly good enough but a lousy newspaper is a joy...

A good newspaper is never nearly good enough but a lousy newspaper is a joy...

It was luxuries like air conditioning that brought down the Roman Empire. With air conditioning...

It was luxuries like air conditioning that brought down the Roman Empire. With air conditioning...

Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function

Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function

Where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking and all the children...

Where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking and all the children...

It's a shallow life that doesn't give a person a few scars.

It's a shallow life that doesn't give a person a few scars.

Humor, a good sense of it, is to Americans what manhood is to Spaniards and...

Humor, a good sense of it, is to Americans what manhood is to Spaniards and...

Sometimes you have to look reality in the eye, and deny it.

Sometimes you have to look reality in the eye, and deny it.

Thank you, God, for this good life and forgive us if we do not love...

Thank you, God, for this good life and forgive us if we do not love...

God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad...

God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad...

A book is a gift you can open again and again.

A book is a gift you can open again and again.

Some luck lies in not getting what you thought you wanted but getting what you...

Some luck lies in not getting what you thought you wanted but getting what you...

It was luxuries like air conditioning that brought down the Roman Empire. With air conditioning...

It was luxuries like air conditioning that brought down the Roman Empire. With air conditioning...

Being Lutheran, Mother believed that self-pity is a deadly sin and so is nostalgia, and...

Being Lutheran, Mother believed that self-pity is a deadly sin and so is nostalgia, and...

I think the most un-American thing you can say is, 'You can't say that.'

I think the most un-American thing you can say is, 'You can't say that.'

Nothing you do for children is ever wasted. They seem not to notice us, hovering,...

Nothing you do for children is ever wasted. They seem not to notice us, hovering,...

It was luxuries like air conditioning that brought down the Roman Empire. With air conditioning...

It was luxuries like air conditioning that brought down the Roman Empire. With air conditioning...

The funniest line in English is Get it? When you say that, everyone chortles.

The funniest line in English is Get it? When you say that, everyone chortles.

A girl in a bikini is like having a loaded pistol on your coffee table...

A girl in a bikini is like having a loaded pistol on your coffee table...