The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose

Quote by Garrison Keillor

Topics: Brotherly Quotes, Childhood Quotes, Food Quotes

God writes a lot of comedy-the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors...

God writes a lot of comedy-the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors...

I think the most un-American thing you can say is, 'You can't say that.'

I think the most un-American thing you can say is, 'You can't say that.'

I believe in looking reality straight in the eye and denying it.

I believe in looking reality straight in the eye and denying it.

Humor, a good sense of it, is to Americans what manhood is to Spaniards and...

Humor, a good sense of it, is to Americans what manhood is to Spaniards and...

Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function

Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function

They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad...

They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad...

The funniest line in English is Get it? When you say that, everyone chortles.

The funniest line in English is Get it? When you say that, everyone chortles.

A minister has to be able to read a clock. At noon, it's time to...

A minister has to be able to read a clock. At noon, it's time to...

It was luxuries like air conditioning that brought down the Roman Empire. With air conditioning...

It was luxuries like air conditioning that brought down the Roman Empire. With air conditioning...

Beauty isn't worth thinking about; what's important is your mind. You don't want a fifty-dollar...

Beauty isn't worth thinking about; what's important is your mind. You don't want a fifty-dollar...

Selective ignorance, a cornerstone of child rearing. You don't put kids under surveillance: it might...

Selective ignorance, a cornerstone of child rearing. You don't put kids under surveillance: it might...

A girl in a bikini is like having a loaded pistol on your coffee table...theres...

A girl in a bikini is like having a loaded pistol on your coffee table...theres...

God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad...

God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad...

Lake Wobegon, the little town that time forgot and the decades cannot improve.

Lake Wobegon, the little town that time forgot and the decades cannot improve.

Sometimes you have to look reality in the eye, and deny it.

Sometimes you have to look reality in the eye, and deny it.

Some luck lies in not getting what you thought you wanted but getting what you...

Some luck lies in not getting what you thought you wanted but getting what you...

A good newspaper is never nearly good enough but a lousy newspaper is a joy...

A good newspaper is never nearly good enough but a lousy newspaper is a joy...

They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad...

They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad...

Success is a public affair. Failure is a private funeral.

Success is a public affair. Failure is a private funeral.

Fascism is a religious concept

Fascism is a religious concept