Haloween=candy Thanksgiving=food Christmas=gifts New Year=drinks Valentines=sex Birthday=All the above.jpg

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I really wanted to buy each of the kids something fabulous. But have you seen...

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All right, you guys, just permit me one sentimental moment here. I have something to...

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Dear Santa, if you leave a new bike under the tree, I will give you...

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Joseph: "I'm going to buy them Christmas turkey". Albert: "Buy? Do you really mean buy?"...

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He sees you when you're sleeping. He knows when you're awake. He knows if you've...

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How do you know Santa has to be a man? No woman is going to...

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You have 200. 194. 305 friend requests. I knew this Facebook thing was a bad...

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On the 12th of Christmas my Facebook gave to me, 12 dudes I'm blocking, 11...

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Christmas is not the time for regrets. That's what anniversaries are for.

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What is Father Christmas' wife called ? Mary Christmas!

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What do snowmen eat for breakfast? Snowflakes.

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What do monkeys sing at Christmas ? Jungle Bells, Jungle bells !

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