During a test when the teacher passes by, you cover your answers with your hand so that the teacher cant see how stupid you are.
The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy...
I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!
It's funny the way most people love the dead. Once you're dead, you're made for...
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
Theyre talking about banning cigarette smoking now in any place thats used by ten or...
Return something not for the possibility of a reward, but for the joy of giving...
When old age shall this generation waste, Thou shalt remain, in midst of other woe...
Men should be like Kleenex...soft, strong, disposable.
I've been in more laps than a napkin.
When you look at Prince Charles, don't you think that someone in the Royal family...
I am the literary equivalent of a Big Mac and Fries.
If opinions are like assholes, then a lot of opinions wear Ed Hardy shirts.
Curve: The loveliest distance between two points
A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her...
I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be...
Never trust a computer you can't throw out a window.
Roger Ebert has had his right thumb trademarked. Now the police will actually have to...
Home wasn't built in a day.
School is pointless! English: We speak it. History: They're dead, get over it. Math: 1+1...
Dear person who finishes test in 10 minutes, I HOPE YOU FAIL! Sincerely, still on...
It's crazy how quickly studying can progress into watching hours of YouTube.
A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student.