Champagne for my real friends and real pain for my sham friends.

Quote by Tom Waits

Topics: Tom Waits Quotes

I'd rather have a free bottle in front of me than a prefrontal lobotomy.

I'd rather have a free bottle in front of me than a prefrontal lobotomy.

I admit that I ain't no angel, I admit that I ain't no saint-- I'm...

I admit that I ain't no angel, I admit that I ain't no saint-- I'm...

I'm just trying to make a buck like everyone else.

I'm just trying to make a buck like everyone else.

The large print giveth, but the small print taketh away.

The large print giveth, but the small print taketh away.

Their memory's like a train: you can see it getting smaller as it pulls away...

Their memory's like a train: you can see it getting smaller as it pulls away...

Their memory's like a train: you can see it getting smaller as it pulls away...

Their memory's like a train: you can see it getting smaller as it pulls away...

The big print giveth and the small print taketh away.

The big print giveth and the small print taketh away.

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy.

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy.

George Bush is a fan of mine, he came to see me in the Seventies....

George Bush is a fan of mine, he came to see me in the Seventies....

It's hard to win when you always lose.

It's hard to win when you always lose.

I'm so horny the crack of dawn better watch out.

I'm so horny the crack of dawn better watch out.

The piano has been drinking, not me.

The piano has been drinking, not me.

Don't you know there ain't no devil, it's just god when he's drunk.

Don't you know there ain't no devil, it's just god when he's drunk.