I'm so horny the crack of dawn better watch out.

Quote by Tom Waits

Topics: Tom Waits Quotes

Champagne for my real friends and real pain for my sham friends.

Champagne for my real friends and real pain for my sham friends.

I'd rather have a free bottle in front of me than a prefrontal lobotomy.

I'd rather have a free bottle in front of me than a prefrontal lobotomy.

Their memory's like a train: you can see it getting smaller as it pulls away...

Their memory's like a train: you can see it getting smaller as it pulls away...

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy.

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy.

The big print giveth and the small print taketh away.

The big print giveth and the small print taketh away.

The large print giveth, but the small print taketh away.

The large print giveth, but the small print taketh away.

It's hard to win when you always lose.

It's hard to win when you always lose.

I admit that I ain't no angel, I admit that I ain't no saint-- I'm...

I admit that I ain't no angel, I admit that I ain't no saint-- I'm...

I'm just trying to make a buck like everyone else.

I'm just trying to make a buck like everyone else.

The piano has been drinking, not me.

The piano has been drinking, not me.

George Bush is a fan of mine, he came to see me in the Seventies....

George Bush is a fan of mine, he came to see me in the Seventies....

Don't you know there ain't no devil, it's just god when he's drunk.

Don't you know there ain't no devil, it's just god when he's drunk.

Their memory's like a train: you can see it getting smaller as it pulls away...

Their memory's like a train: you can see it getting smaller as it pulls away...

Dreams are nothing but incoherent ideas, occasioned by partial or imperfect sleep

Dreams are nothing but incoherent ideas, occasioned by partial or imperfect sleep

If you dream the proper dreams, and share the myths with people, they will want...

If you dream the proper dreams, and share the myths with people, they will want...

Then indecision brings its own delays, And days are lost lamenting o'er lost days. Are...

Then indecision brings its own delays, And days are lost lamenting o'er lost days. Are...

People need dreams, there's as much nourishment in 'em as food.

People need dreams, there's as much nourishment in 'em as food.

So many of our dreams at first seem impossible, then they seem improbable, and then,...

So many of our dreams at first seem impossible, then they seem improbable, and then,...

When I slept, armies of footnotes marched across my dreams in close-order drill.

When I slept, armies of footnotes marched across my dreams in close-order drill.

We all have our time machines. Some take us back, they're called memories. Some take...

We all have our time machines. Some take us back, they're called memories. Some take...