Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq.

Quote by Fran Lebowitz

Topics: Fran Lebowitz Quotes

If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest...

If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest...

The telephone is a good way to talk to people without having to offer them...

The telephone is a good way to talk to people without having to offer them...

If you're going to America, bring your own food.

If you're going to America, bring your own food.

If you removed all of the homosexuals and homosexual influence from what is generally regarded...

If you removed all of the homosexuals and homosexual influence from what is generally regarded...

Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women,...

Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women,...

Being offended is a natural consequence of leaving the house

Being offended is a natural consequence of leaving the house

In the Soviet Union, capitalism triumphed over communism. In this country, capitalism triumphed over democracy.

In the Soviet Union, capitalism triumphed over communism. In this country, capitalism triumphed over democracy.

If your sexual fantasies were truly of interest to others, they would no longer be...

If your sexual fantasies were truly of interest to others, they would no longer be...

Do not, on a rainy day, ask your child what he feels like doing, because...

Do not, on a rainy day, ask your child what he feels like doing, because...

You're only as good as your last haircut.

You're only as good as your last haircut.

Original thought is like original sin: both happened before you were born to people you...

Original thought is like original sin: both happened before you were born to people you...

You can't go around hoping that most people have sterling moral characters. The most you...

You can't go around hoping that most people have sterling moral characters. The most you...

Nothing succeeds like address.

Nothing succeeds like address.

I never took hallucinogenic drugs because I never wanted my consciousness expanded one unnecessary iota.

I never took hallucinogenic drugs because I never wanted my consciousness expanded one unnecessary iota.

The opposite of talking isn't listening. The opposite of talking is waiting.

The opposite of talking isn't listening. The opposite of talking is waiting.

I must take issue with the term 'a mere child,' for it has been my...

I must take issue with the term 'a mere child,' for it has been my...

I never met anyone who didn't have a very smart child. What happens to these...

I never met anyone who didn't have a very smart child. What happens to these...

I figure you have the same chance of winning the lottery whether you play or...

I figure you have the same chance of winning the lottery whether you play or...

Your life story would not make a good book. Don't even try.

Your life story would not make a good book. Don't even try.

As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will...

As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will...