A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that 'individuality' is the key to success.
Quote by Robert Orben
What bothers me about TV is that it tends to take our minds off our...
I always wondered why babies spend so much time sucking their thumbs. Then I tasted...
Spring is God's way of saying, 'One more time!'
Do you ever get the feeling that the only reason we have elections is to...
Planned obsolescence is not really a new concept. God used it with people.
There's so much pollution in the air now that if it weren't for our lungs...
If you can laugh together, you can work together.
Inflation is the crabgrass in your savings.
Happiness is a very small desk and a very big wastebasket.
A vacation is having nothing to do and all day to do it in.
I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home.
Life was a lot simpler when what we honored was father and mother rather than...
To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more...
I got a Valentine's Day card from my girl. It said, 'Take my heart! Take...
Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people...
Inflation is bringing us true democracy. For the first time in history, luxuries and necessities...
With my luck, if I ever invested in General Motors, they'd bust it to Corporal!
Quit worrying about your health. It will go away.
Every speaker has a mouth; An arrangement rather neat. Sometimes it's filled with wisdom. Sometimes...
More than ever before, Americans are suffering from back problems: back taxes, back rent, back...