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What is worth living for, and what is worth dying for The answer to each...

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What is worth living for, and what is worth dying for The answer to each...

Hate to see you leave but love to watch you go. Cause of your butt.

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Hate to see you leave but love to watch you go. Cause of your butt.

Always have a friend with you on Christmas... who can take you back home when...

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Always have a friend with you on Christmas... who can take you back home when...

What exactly does expression mean "friends with benefits"? Does he provide her with health insurance?

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What exactly does expression mean

Friends joke with one another. Hey, you're poor. Hey, your momma's dead. That's what friends...

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Friends joke with one another. Hey, you're poor. Hey, your momma's dead. That's what friends...

This woman I met last week says she wants a guy who is "funny and...

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This woman I met last week says she wants a guy who is

Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is...

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Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is...

I like nonsense it wakes up the brain cells

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I like nonsense it wakes up the brain cells

How do you know Santa has to be a man? No woman is going to...

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How do you know Santa has to be a man? No woman is going to...

Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have...

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Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have...

The more you do, the more mistakes you'll make

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The more you do, the more mistakes you'll make

My brain is like the Bermuda Triangle. Information goes in and then it's never found...

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My brain is like the Bermuda Triangle. Information goes in and then it's never found...

If a woman is upset, hold her and tell her how beautiful she is. If...

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If a woman is upset, hold her and tell her how beautiful she is. If...

The next time someone asks if you have a sec, tell them 'Actually, I have...

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The next time someone asks if you have a sec, tell them 'Actually, I have...

May the internet bring you comfort when your family goes insane this holiday season

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May the internet bring you comfort when your family goes insane this holiday season

In my body, where the shame gland should be, there is a second awesome gland....

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In my body, where the shame gland should be, there is a second awesome gland....

If I had a dollar for every time someone told me I was pretty, I...

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If I had a dollar for every time someone told me I was pretty, I...

If a fat man puts you in a bag at night, don't worry I told...

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If a fat man puts you in a bag at night, don't worry I told...

It's funny how you can tell someone likes someone else, but you can't tell when...

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It's funny how you can tell someone likes someone else, but you can't tell when...

To succeed with the opposite sex, tell her you're impotent. She can't wait to disprove...

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To succeed with the opposite sex, tell her you're impotent. She can't wait to disprove...

Don’t do drugs, don’t have unprotected sex, don’t be violent. Leave that to me.

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Don’t do drugs, don’t have unprotected sex, don’t be violent. Leave that to me.