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You have to write the book that wants to be written. And if the book...

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You have to write the book that wants to be written. And if the book...

Sometimes I wish I was a little kid again skinned knees are easier to fix...

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Sometimes I wish I was a little kid again skinned knees are easier to fix...

There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a...

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There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a...

Strong-willed children become adults who can change the world as long as we can hang...

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Strong-willed children become adults who can change the world as long as we can hang...

A child can teach an adult three things: to be happy for no reason, to...

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A child can teach an adult three things: to be happy for no reason, to...

Let's try teaching children how to think instead of what to think.

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Let's try teaching children how to think instead of what to think.

When a baby is staring at you and their parents aren't looking

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When a baby is staring at you and their parents aren't looking

Daddy please stop yellin I can't stand the sound Make mama stop cryin cuz I...

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Daddy please stop yellin I can't stand the sound Make mama stop cryin cuz I...

Strong enough to bear the children. Then get back to business.

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Strong enough to bear the children. Then get back to business.

Let your children develop their own damn opinions.

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Let your children develop their own damn opinions.

I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a...

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I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a...

If you want your children to be intelligent, read them fairy tales. If you want...

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If you want your children to be intelligent, read them fairy tales. If you want...

Once you accept that your child will be different, not better or worse, just different,...

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Once you accept that your child will be different, not better or worse, just different,...

If you want your children to turn out well, spend twice as much time with...

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If you want your children to turn out well, spend twice as much time with...

Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree, in the eyes of children, they...

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Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree, in the eyes of children, they...

Love your children and they will be able to outgrow you. Ignore your children and...

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Love your children and they will be able to outgrow you. Ignore your children and...

Being a single parent is twice the work, twice the stress and twice the tears...

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Being a single parent is twice the work, twice the stress and twice the tears...

Ability is : When you can make three generations of people laugh their socks off...

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Ability is : When you can make three generations of people laugh their socks off...

Golden rule: I do not buy dinner to get yes. Dinner's a very intimate activity....

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Golden rule: I do not buy dinner to get yes. Dinner's a very intimate activity....

Okay, we took off our clothes, I got on top of you.. How long 'til...

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Okay, we took off our clothes, I got on top of you.. How long 'til...