I'm great in bed I can sleep for days.

I'm great in bed I can sleep for days.

Topics: Funny Picture Quotes, Sex Picture Quotes, Sleep Picture Quotes

Sometimes the best part of my job is that my chair swivels

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Sometimes the best part of my job is that my chair swivels

The secret of a successful marriage is not to be at home too much

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The secret of a successful marriage is not to be at home too much

I made me laugh

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I made me laugh

If you're good at something Never Do it for free

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If you're good at something Never Do it for free

I like nonsense it wakes up the brain cells

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I like nonsense it wakes up the brain cells

Be happy in front of people who don't like you, 'It kills them'

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Be happy in front of people who don't like you, 'It kills them'

When I was little "I'm gonna tell your mom" was the scariest sentence ever

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When I was little

She ain't heavy cause she's in my heart already

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She ain't heavy cause she's in my heart already

New Year's Resolution Last year Need to get in shape for spring This year need...

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New Year's Resolution Last year Need to get in shape for spring This year need...

I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a...

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I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a...

Think of me like Yoda, but instead of being little and green I wear suits...

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Think of me like Yoda, but instead of being little and green I wear suits...

The next time someone asks if you have a sec, tell them 'Actually, I have...

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The next time someone asks if you have a sec, tell them 'Actually, I have...

My wife is a sex object. Every time I ask for sex she objects.

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My wife is a sex object. Every time I ask for sex she objects.

This woman I met last week says she wants a guy who is "funny and...

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This woman I met last week says she wants a guy who is

I rise at six and then I feed the chicks , And I'm feeling lonesome...

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I rise at six and then I feed the chicks , And I'm feeling lonesome...

New Year's Resolutions This year I resolve to be more democratic and I've made a...

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New Year's Resolutions This year I resolve to be more democratic and I've made a...

I love my computer because my friends live in it

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I love my computer because my friends live in it

A jealous woman does better research that the FBI.

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A jealous woman does better research that the FBI.

Among men, sex sometimes results in intimacy; among women, intimacy sometimes results in sex.

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Among men, sex sometimes results in intimacy; among women, intimacy sometimes results in sex.

In sex there's nothing new unless there's someone new.

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In sex there's nothing new unless there's someone new.

People who don't care if they don't sleep are lovers.

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People who don't care if they don't sleep are lovers.