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Love is like war; easy to begin but very hard to stop.

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Love is like war; easy to begin but very hard to stop.

A man loses his sense of direction after four drinks, a woman loses hers after...

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A man loses his sense of direction after four drinks, a woman loses hers after...

If women ruled the world there would be no wars. Just a bunch of jealous...

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If women ruled the world there would be no wars. Just a bunch of jealous...

Joseph: "I'm going to buy them Christmas turkey". Albert: "Buy? Do you really mean buy?"...

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Joseph:

Don't have sex, cause you will get pregnant and die.

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Don't have sex, cause you will get pregnant and die.

Young men want to be faithful, and are not; old men want to be faithless,...

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Young men want to be faithful, and are not; old men want to be faithless,...

If you want to appear smarter, hang around someone stupider.

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If you want to appear smarter, hang around someone stupider.

The simplest explanation is almost always somebody screwed up. Arrogance has to be earned. Anomalies...

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The simplest explanation is almost always somebody screwed up. Arrogance has to be earned. Anomalies...

The world is a stage but the play is badly cast

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The world is a stage but the play is badly cast

A wife says to her husband "I want you to whisper dirty things in my...

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A wife says to her husband

What is Father Christmas' wife called ? Mary Christmas!

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What is Father Christmas' wife called ? Mary Christmas!

Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results

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Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results

A jealous woman does better research that the FBI.

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A jealous woman does better research that the FBI.

We are all little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone...

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We are all little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone...

Open your eyes. Open your ears. Open your mind. Close your mouth

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Open your eyes. Open your ears. Open your mind. Close your mouth

I'm not crazy, my mother had me tested.

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I'm not crazy, my mother had me tested.

The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits

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The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits

Keep smiling and one day Life will get tired of upsetting you

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Keep smiling and one day Life will get tired of upsetting you

Birthdays are good for your health. Studies have shown that people who have more birthdays...

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Birthdays are good for your health. Studies have shown that people who have more birthdays...

The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn...

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The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn...

You will have every kind of kiss in every kind of way in every possible...

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You will have every kind of kiss in every kind of way in every possible...

Home is wherever I'm with you.

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Home is wherever I'm with you.