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The great secret of happiness in love is to be glad that the other fellow...

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The great secret of happiness in love is to be glad that the other fellow...

A man loses his sense of direction after four drinks, a woman loses hers after...

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A man loses his sense of direction after four drinks, a woman loses hers after...

I can read in Red, I can read in Blue I can read in pickle...

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I can read in Red, I can read in Blue I can read in pickle...

Twenty year olds fall in and out of love more often than they change their...

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Twenty year olds fall in and out of love more often than they change their...

Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.

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Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.

A black cat crossing your path signifies..

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A black cat crossing your path signifies..

Christmas is not the time for regrets. That's what anniversaries are for.

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Christmas is not the time for regrets. That's what anniversaries are for.

Dear kids of all ages, Santa is coming after a short break

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Dear kids of all ages, Santa is coming after a short break

Knowledge is knowing tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting one in a fruit...

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Knowledge is knowing tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting one in a fruit...

If a woman is upset, hold her and tell her how beautiful she is. If...

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If a woman is upset, hold her and tell her how beautiful she is. If...

A woman is like a tea bag; you never know how strong it is until...

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A woman is like a tea bag; you never know how strong it is until...

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world . I know because I've...

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Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world . I know because I've...

We are all little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone...

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We are all little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone...

Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree, in the eyes of children, they...

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Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree, in the eyes of children, they...

I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life....

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I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life....

A woman without her sister is like a bird without wings

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A woman without her sister is like a bird without wings

No one looks back on their and remembers the nights they had plenty of sleep

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No one looks back on their and remembers the nights they had plenty of sleep

Medicine prolongs life but death will seize the doctor too

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Medicine prolongs life but death will seize the doctor too

My first instinct when I see an animal is to say hello My first instinct...

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My first instinct when I see an animal is to say hello My first instinct...

The only reason to wait a month for sex is if she's 17 years, 11...

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The only reason to wait a month for sex is if she's 17 years, 11...

Is that Vicondin? Breath mint. Thought you were going to kiss me

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Is that Vicondin? Breath mint. Thought you were going to kiss me

You can't measure the mutual affection of two human beings by the number of words...

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You can't measure the mutual affection of two human beings by the number of words...