New Year's Resolutions This year I resolve to be more democratic and I've made a list of your resolutions! Give up jobs give up benefits Give up pensions Give up services Give up university Give up health care.

New Year's Resolutions This year I resolve to be more democratic and I've made a list of your resolutions! Give up jobs give up benefits Give up pensions Give up services Give up university Give up health care.

Topics: Funny Picture Quotes, New Year Picture Quotes, New Year's resolution Picture Quotes

The older I get, the smarter my father seems to get

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The older I get, the smarter my father seems to get

You know we're good friends when I no longer feel the need to clean up...

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You know we're good friends when I no longer feel the need to clean up...

The only time you should look in your neighbor's bowl is to make sure that...

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The only time you should look in your neighbor's bowl is to make sure that...

Think about how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of'em are...

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Think about how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of'em are...

Murphy's Law : Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself

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Murphy's Law : Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself

A fool always finds one more fool to admire him

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A fool always finds one more fool to admire him

Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal and a good woman or a bad woman....

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Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal and a good woman or a bad woman....

The meal is not over when I'm full. The meal is over when I hate...

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The meal is not over when I'm full. The meal is over when I hate...

What is Father Christmas' wife called ? Mary Christmas!

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What is Father Christmas' wife called ? Mary Christmas!

I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something's...

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I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something's...

I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving...

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I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving...

Be happy in front of people who don't like you, 'It kills them'

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Be happy in front of people who don't like you, 'It kills them'

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

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Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

Galaxy's centre tastes of raspberries and smells of rum, say astronomers.

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Galaxy's centre tastes of raspberries and smells of rum, say astronomers.

I really wanted to buy each of the kids something fabulous. But have you seen...

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I really wanted to buy each of the kids something fabulous. But have you seen...

I'm trying to be a sensitive father, you unwanted moron

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I'm trying to be a sensitive father, you unwanted moron

The reason people use crucifix against vampires is that vampires are allergic to bullshit.

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The reason people use crucifix against vampires is that vampires are allergic to bullshit.

A big bear hug for you.

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A big bear hug for you.

Happy New Year! Years come and go but what will remain unchanged is my feelings...

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Happy New Year! Years come and go but what will remain unchanged is my feelings...

Hope Smiles from the threshold of the year to come, Whispering 'it will be happier.

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Hope Smiles from the threshold of the year to come, Whispering 'it will be happier.