An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute forget the fruit.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute forget the fruit.

Topics: Funny Picture Quotes, Health Picture Quotes, Healthy food Picture Quotes

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.

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Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.

Everyone I know is getting married or pregnant. I'm just getting more awesome

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Everyone I know is getting married or pregnant. I'm just getting more awesome

Would you like some aloe vera? You just got burned!

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Would you like some aloe vera? You just got burned!

I'm sorry.. I didn't realize that you're an expert on my life and how I...

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I'm sorry.. I didn't realize that you're an expert on my life and how I...

When I hired you I knew you were insane I will continue to try and...

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When I hired you I knew you were insane I will continue to try and...

Every night, I have to read a book, so that my mind will stop thinking...

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Every night, I have to read a book, so that my mind will stop thinking...

The PERFECT boyfriend doesn't DRINK, doesn't SMOKE, doesn't CHEAT and doesn't EXIST

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The PERFECT boyfriend doesn't DRINK, doesn't SMOKE, doesn't CHEAT and doesn't EXIST

The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is...

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The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is...

When a baby is staring at you and their parents aren't looking

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When a baby is staring at you and their parents aren't looking

Sometimes I pretend to be normal. but it gets boring so I go back to...

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Sometimes I pretend to be normal. but it gets boring so I go back to...

Always get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn't work out, you...

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Always get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn't work out, you...

I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life....

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I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life....

Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal and a good woman or a bad woman....

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Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal and a good woman or a bad woman....

My tremendous intuitive sense of the female creature informs me that you are troubled.

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My tremendous intuitive sense of the female creature informs me that you are troubled.

Christmas is not the time for regrets. That's what anniversaries are for.

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Christmas is not the time for regrets. That's what anniversaries are for.

I like nonsense it wakes up the brain cells

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I like nonsense it wakes up the brain cells

New Year's Resolutions This year I resolve to be more democratic and I've made a...

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New Year's Resolutions This year I resolve to be more democratic and I've made a...

That's the problem with drinking, I thought as I poured myself a drink. If something...

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That's the problem with drinking, I thought as I poured myself a drink. If something...

It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.

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It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.

Eat a big breakfast, average lunch and tiny dinner.

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Eat a big breakfast, average lunch and tiny dinner.