An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute forget the fruit.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute forget the fruit.

Topics: Funny Picture Quotes, Health Picture Quotes, Healthy food Picture Quotes

Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.

— view —

Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.

My wife is a sex object. Every time I ask for sex she objects.

— view —

My wife is a sex object. Every time I ask for sex she objects.

We are all little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone...

— view —

We are all little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone...

Haloween=candy Thanksgiving=food Christmas=gifts New Year=drinks Valentines=sex Birthday=All the above.jpg

— view —

Haloween=candy Thanksgiving=food Christmas=gifts New Year=drinks Valentines=sex Birthday=All the above.jpg

Normal people scare me but not as much as I scare them.

— view —

Normal people scare me but not as much as I scare them.

I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving...

— view —

I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving...

Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright, Until you hear them...

— view —

Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright, Until you hear them...

Always forgive your enemies - nothing annoys them so much.

— view —

Always forgive your enemies - nothing annoys them so much.

There has got to be more to life than just be really, really ridiculously good...

— view —

There has got to be more to life than just be really, really ridiculously good...

He sees you when you're sleeping. He knows when you're awake. He knows if you've...

— view —

He sees you when you're sleeping. He knows when you're awake. He knows if you've...

When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks...

— view —

When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks...

Nun: Sister Augustine belives in things that aren't real. House: I thought that was a...

— view —

Nun: Sister Augustine belives in things that aren't real. House: I thought that was a...

Good news: The holidays are about family. Bad news: It has to be your own...

— view —

Good news: The holidays are about family. Bad news: It has to be your own...

It's funny how you can tell someone likes someone else, but you can't tell when...

— view —

It's funny how you can tell someone likes someone else, but you can't tell when...

We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations. We're doing...

— view —

We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations. We're doing...

When a baby is staring at you and their parents aren't looking

— view —

When a baby is staring at you and their parents aren't looking

If you're good at something Never Do it for free

— view —

If you're good at something Never Do it for free

A woman is worried about the future until she gets a husband, while a man...

— view —

A woman is worried about the future until she gets a husband, while a man...

I have chosen to be happy because it is good for my health

— view —

I have chosen to be happy because it is good for my health

What is called genius is the abundance of life and health

— view —

What is called genius is the abundance of life and health