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Do you ever wonder why Love is like drinking beer ? It's because once you...

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Do you ever wonder why Love is like drinking beer ? It's because once you...

A woman will always cherish the memory of the man who wanted to marry her...

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A woman will always cherish the memory of the man who wanted to marry her...

We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations. We're doing...

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We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations. We're doing...

If I had not gone into Monty Python, I probably would have stuck to my...

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If I had not gone into Monty Python, I probably would have stuck to my...

A word to the wise ain't necessary, it's the stupid ones who need advice.

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A word to the wise ain't necessary, it's the stupid ones who need advice.

The only reason I'm fat is because a tiny body couldn't store all this personality.

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The only reason I'm fat is because a tiny body couldn't store all this personality.

I love my computer because my friends live in it

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I love my computer because my friends live in it

A jealous woman does better research that the FBI.

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A jealous woman does better research that the FBI.

I'm not crazy, my mother had me tested.

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I'm not crazy, my mother had me tested.

What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and...

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What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and...

Hate to see you leave but love to watch you go. Cause of your butt.

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Hate to see you leave but love to watch you go. Cause of your butt.

The 8-Track is to today's stereos like what a girlfriend is to wife an earlier,...

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The 8-Track is to today's stereos like what a girlfriend is to wife an earlier,...

Delete my feelings for you. Error.The file is too big.

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Delete my feelings for you. Error.The file is too big.

When I die I want my last words to be, I left a million dollars...

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When I die I want my last words to be, I left a million dollars...

The secret of a successful marriage is not to be at home too much

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The secret of a successful marriage is not to be at home too much

The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where...

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The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where...

You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.

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You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.

If you asked me for my New Year Resolution, it would be to find out...

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If you asked me for my New Year Resolution, it would be to find out...

You’re supposed to let go of the past and start off new. You’re supposed to...

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You’re supposed to let go of the past and start off new. You’re supposed to...

Cheers to a New Year and another chance for us to get it right.

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Cheers to a New Year and another chance for us to get it right.