My first instinct when I see an animal is to say hello My first instinct when I see a person is to avoid eye contact and hope it goes away

My first instinct when I see an animal is to say hello My first instinct when I see a person is to avoid eye contact and hope it goes away

Topics: Animals Picture Quotes, Funny Picture Quotes, Life Picture Quotes, People Picture Quotes, Trust Picture Quotes

The least I can do is speak out for those who cannot speak for themselves

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The least I can do is speak out for those who cannot speak for themselves

Happiness is a warm puppy.

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Happiness is a warm puppy.

The best therapist has fur and four legs.

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The best therapist has fur and four legs.

Animals are my friends...and I don't eat my friends.

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Animals are my friends...and I don't eat my friends.

Keep calm and love dogs

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Keep calm and love dogs

Dogs never bite me. Just humans.

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Dogs never bite me. Just humans.

Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll...

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Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll...

My wife is a sex object. Every time I ask for sex she objects.

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My wife is a sex object. Every time I ask for sex she objects.

A word to the wise ain't necessary, it's the stupid ones who need advice.

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A word to the wise ain't necessary, it's the stupid ones who need advice.

They love their hair because they're not smart enough to love something more interesting.

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They love their hair because they're not smart enough to love something more interesting.

I've found the key to happiness. Stay the hell away from assholes

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I've found the key to happiness. Stay the hell away from assholes

Birthdays are good for your health. Studies have shown that people who have more birthdays...

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Birthdays are good for your health. Studies have shown that people who have more birthdays...

What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and...

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What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and...

Christmas tree, Oh Christmas tree; Your ornaments are history.

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Christmas tree, Oh Christmas tree; Your ornaments are history.

A woman will always cherish the memory of the man who wanted to marry her...

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A woman will always cherish the memory of the man who wanted to marry her...

I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving...

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I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving...

A glass of beer shortens your life by one minute, a glass of wine by...

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A glass of beer shortens your life by one minute, a glass of wine by...

Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree, in the eyes of children, they...

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Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree, in the eyes of children, they...

The only reason Debra keeps me alive it to open jars and kill bugs.

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The only reason Debra keeps me alive it to open jars and kill bugs.

The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits

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The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits

You can always say sorry but the real apology is when you hear the sadness...

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You can always say sorry but the real apology is when you hear the sadness...

A relationship without trust is like a car without gas, you can stay in it...

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A relationship without trust is like a car without gas, you can stay in it...