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I love mankind, it's people I can't stand

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I love mankind, it's people I can't stand

What's the good of living if you don't try a few things?

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What's the good of living if you don't try a few things?

The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I...

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The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I...

Never let your sense of morals prevent you from doing what is right.

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Never let your sense of morals prevent you from doing what is right.

Death's got an Invisibility Cloak?" Harry interrupted again. "So he can sneak up on people,"...

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Death's got an Invisibility Cloak?

What would men be without women? Scarce, sir...mighty scarce.

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What would men be without women? Scarce, sir...mighty scarce.

If the world were merely seductive, that would be easy. If it were merely challenging,...

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If the world were merely seductive, that would be easy. If it were merely challenging,...

Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away

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Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away

A lesson taught with humor is a lesson retained.

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A lesson taught with humor is a lesson retained.

I love you like a fat kid loves cake!

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I love you like a fat kid loves cake!

The difference between genius and stupidity is; genius has its limits.

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The difference between genius and stupidity is; genius has its limits.

Be nice to nerds. You may end up working for them. We all could

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Be nice to nerds. You may end up working for them. We all could

Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must lead

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Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must lead

I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I...

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I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I...

Some people say, “Never let them see you cry.” I say, if you’re so mad...

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Some people say, “Never let them see you cry.” I say, if you’re so mad...

Go to heaven for the climate and hell for the company

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Go to heaven for the climate and hell for the company

Never memorize something that you can look up.

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Never memorize something that you can look up.

You here to finish me off, Sweetheart?

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You here to finish me off, Sweetheart?

All God does is watch us and kill us when we get boring. We must...

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All God does is watch us and kill us when we get boring. We must...

I can't go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.

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I can't go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.

People with the greatest advice usually have the most problems.

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People with the greatest advice usually have the most problems.