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Oh I offended you with my opinion?! You should hear the ones I keep to myself
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An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute forget...
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When I hired you I knew you were insane I will continue to try and...
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Delete my feelings for you. Error.The file is too big.
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How do you ask a girl out? Simple. You open the door and say "Get...
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The day I stop loving you is the day Lady Gaga decides to wear normal...
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The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off.
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A lie is just a great story that someone ruined with the truth
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I want to breed a dog called 'SnickerDoodle'. I've got the 'oodle' part covered
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Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.
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Dr. Cameron: You want me to tell a man whose wife is about to die...
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Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? You do all the work...
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They love their hair because they're not smart enough to love something more interesting.
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If my Valentine you won't be, I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree.
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A man loses his sense of direction after four drinks, a woman loses hers after...
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My computer beat me at checkers, but I sure beat it at kickboxing.
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Why Trick or Treating is better than Sex? You can do the whole neighborhood.
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'I am' is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that...
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Joy, you have to start drinking again. Like life, you are very hard to take...
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Easter spells out beauty, the rare beauty of new life. Happy Easter!
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Good friends, good books, and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.
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Science is a way of thinking much more than it is a body of knowledge
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