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New Year's Resolution Last year Need to get in shape for spring This year need...

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New Year's Resolution Last year Need to get in shape for spring This year need...

If the guy's a cutie you've got to tap that booty.

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If the guy's a cutie you've got to tap that booty.

Knowledge is knowing tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting one in a fruit...

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Knowledge is knowing tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting one in a fruit...

And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could...

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And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could...

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same

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Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same

Genius is one percent inspiration, two percent perspiration, and ninety seven percent Tesla

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Genius is one percent inspiration, two percent perspiration, and ninety seven percent Tesla

What computer do you have? And please don't say a white one.

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What computer do you have? And please don't say a white one.

Keep smiling and one day Life will get tired of upsetting you

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Keep smiling and one day Life will get tired of upsetting you

I'm trying to be a sensitive father, you unwanted moron

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I'm trying to be a sensitive father, you unwanted moron

I played Santa Claus many times, if you don't believe it, check out the divorce...

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I played Santa Claus many times, if you don't believe it, check out the divorce...

The PERFECT boyfriend doesn't DRINK, doesn't SMOKE, doesn't CHEAT and doesn't EXIST

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The PERFECT boyfriend doesn't DRINK, doesn't SMOKE, doesn't CHEAT and doesn't EXIST

No one looks back on their and remembers the nights they had plenty of sleep

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No one looks back on their and remembers the nights they had plenty of sleep

Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then...

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Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then...

The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn...

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The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn...

Valentine's Day is coming up ? Oh Crap!- I forgot to get a girlfriend again.

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Valentine's Day is coming up ? Oh Crap!- I forgot to get a girlfriend again.

When a baby is staring at you and their parents aren't looking

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When a baby is staring at you and their parents aren't looking

What exactly does expression mean "friends with benefits"? Does he provide her with health insurance?

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What exactly does expression mean

Age is something that doesn't matter unless you're a cheese.

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Age is something that doesn't matter unless you're a cheese.

It's sweet when someone remembers every little detail about you, not because you keep reminding...

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It's sweet when someone remembers every little detail about you, not because you keep reminding...

You can't just sit around, savin' your heart for some perfect idea of a man...

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You can't just sit around, savin' your heart for some perfect idea of a man...

Everyone smiles on the same language

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Everyone smiles on the same language