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My wife is a sex object. Every time I ask for sex she objects.
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Sometimes I pretend to be normal. but it gets boring so I go back to...
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If a man smiles all the time he's probably selling something that doesn't work
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He sees you when you're sleeping. He knows when you're awake. He knows if you've...
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Delete my feelings for you. Error.The file is too big.
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God, it's me, Barney. What up? I know we don't talk much, But I know...
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Don't have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start...
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I can read in Red, I can read in Blue I can read in pickle...
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If women ruled the world there would be no wars. Just a bunch of jealous...
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There are only two reasons to date a girl you’ve already dated: breast implants.
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Dear Santa, please send me a baby brother. Santa wrote back: Send me your mother!
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You know we're good friends when I no longer feel the need to clean up...
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I made me laugh
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I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a...
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This woman I met last week says she wants a guy who is "funny and...
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How do you know Santa has to be a man? No woman is going to...
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If you want to appear smarter, hang around someone stupider.
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I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life....
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When having a one-night stand, men are less choosy than women when it comes to...
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