A guy with a gun enters a bar. Who the fuck had sex with my wife? he snarled. A voice was heard in the background, "You don't have enough bullets mate".

A guy with a gun enters a bar. Who the fuck had sex with my wife? he snarled. A voice was heard in the background, "You don't have enough bullets mate".

Topics: Funny Picture Quotes, Sex Picture Quotes

Do you have any books about making friends?

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Do you have any books about making friends?

There has got to be more to life than just be really, really ridiculously good...

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There has got to be more to life than just be really, really ridiculously good...

The reason people use crucifix against vampires is that vampires are allergic to bullshit.

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The reason people use crucifix against vampires is that vampires are allergic to bullshit.

Medicine prolongs life but death will seize the doctor too

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Medicine prolongs life but death will seize the doctor too

Lead me not into temptation.. oh hell who am I kidding.. Follow me I know...

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Lead me not into temptation.. oh hell who am I kidding.. Follow me I know...

Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is...

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Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is...

What I feel like when I stop at a red light next to the ladies......

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What I feel like when I stop at a red light next to the ladies......

My version of flirting is looking at someone I find attractive multiple times and hoping...

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My version of flirting is looking at someone I find attractive multiple times and hoping...

My tremendous intuitive sense of the female creature informs me that you are troubled.

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My tremendous intuitive sense of the female creature informs me that you are troubled.

Everything I like is either illegal, immoral, fattening, expensive or impossible

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Everything I like is either illegal, immoral, fattening, expensive or impossible

I've got six kids. I'm not done. I'm going to keep having kids until I...

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I've got six kids. I'm not done. I'm going to keep having kids until I...

It's great to have someone in your life who makes you hate yourself a little...

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It's great to have someone in your life who makes you hate yourself a little...

When a baby is staring at you and their parents aren't looking

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When a baby is staring at you and their parents aren't looking

You know someone is your true friend if you tell a secret and the next...

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You know someone is your true friend if you tell a secret and the next...

Do you ever wonder why Love is like drinking beer ? It's because once you...

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Do you ever wonder why Love is like drinking beer ? It's because once you...

Nun: Sister Augustine belives in things that aren't real. House: I thought that was a...

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Nun: Sister Augustine belives in things that aren't real. House: I thought that was a...

We are all little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone...

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We are all little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone...

At supervillain college, crazy laughter is probably a two-semester course

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At supervillain college, crazy laughter is probably a two-semester course

Revenge sex is not the answer. If you're letting her go, let her go. Be...

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Revenge sex is not the answer. If you're letting her go, let her go. Be...

Sex is like air; it's not important unless you aren't getting any.

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Sex is like air; it's not important unless you aren't getting any.