A guy with a gun enters a bar. Who the fuck had sex with my wife? he snarled. A voice was heard in the background, "You don't have enough bullets mate".

A guy with a gun enters a bar. Who the fuck had sex with my wife? he snarled. A voice was heard in the background, "You don't have enough bullets mate".

Topics: Funny Picture Quotes, Sex Picture Quotes

Dear Santa, yeah, I was naughty this year and it was worth it, you fat...

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Dear Santa, yeah, I was naughty this year and it was worth it, you fat...

Today is Valentine's Day. Or, as men like to call it, Extortion day.

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Today is Valentine's Day. Or, as men like to call it, Extortion day.

What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger

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What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger

Why Trick or Treating is better than Sex? You can do the whole neighborhood.

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Why Trick or Treating is better than Sex? You can do the whole neighborhood.

Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? You do all the work...

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Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? You do all the work...

God, it's me, Barney. What up? I know we don't talk much, But I know...

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God, it's me, Barney. What up? I know we don't talk much, But I know...

Most women desire someone who makes them laugh and also feel safe, so basically a...

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Most women desire someone who makes them laugh and also feel safe, so basically a...

If I had not gone into Monty Python, I probably would have stuck to my...

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If I had not gone into Monty Python, I probably would have stuck to my...

Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is...

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Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is...

I really wanted to buy each of the kids something fabulous. But have you seen...

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I really wanted to buy each of the kids something fabulous. But have you seen...

Hate to see you leave but love to watch you go. Cause of your butt.

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Hate to see you leave but love to watch you go. Cause of your butt.

I want your ugly I want your disease I want your love love I want...

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I want your ugly I want your disease I want your love love I want...

Girls who love football are not weird. They're a rare gift from God. Those girls...

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Girls who love football are not weird. They're a rare gift from God. Those girls...

If my Valentine you won't be, I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree.

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If my Valentine you won't be, I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree.

Laughing at your own mistake can lengthen your life. Laughing at your wifeâ€™s mistakes can...

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Laughing at your own mistake can lengthen your life. Laughing at your wifeâ€™s mistakes can...

And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could...

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And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could...

We are all little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone...

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We are all little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone...

Open your eyes. Open your ears. Open your mind. Close your mouth

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Open your eyes. Open your ears. Open your mind. Close your mouth

Women flirt to keep their stock high, men to get somewhere.

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Women flirt to keep their stock high, men to get somewhere.

Well that's a difference between love and sex. Sex is the game where everyone wins...

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Well that's a difference between love and sex. Sex is the game where everyone wins...