Home, nowadays, is a place where part of the family waits till the rest of the family brings the car back.

Quote by Earl Wilson

Topics: Earl Wilson Quotes

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

Courage is the art of being the only one who knows you're scared to death.

Courage is the art of being the only one who knows you're scared to death.

Poise: the ability to be ill at ease inconspicuously.

Poise: the ability to be ill at ease inconspicuously.

Today's accent may be on youth, but the stress is still on the parents.

Today's accent may be on youth, but the stress is still on the parents.

Nothing is as embarrassing as watching your boss do something you assured him couldn't be...

Nothing is as embarrassing as watching your boss do something you assured him couldn't be...

You may not be able to read a doctor's handwriting and prescription, but you'll notice...

You may not be able to read a doctor's handwriting and prescription, but you'll notice...

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

Announcement from the proud parents of a baby daughter. We have skirted the issue.

Announcement from the proud parents of a baby daughter. We have skirted the issue.

The fastest way for a politician to become an elder statesman is to lose an...

The fastest way for a politician to become an elder statesman is to lose an...

A baseball game is simply a nervous breakdown divided into nine innings.

A baseball game is simply a nervous breakdown divided into nine innings.

Gossip, n.: Hearing something you like about someone you don't.

Gossip, n.: Hearing something you like about someone you don't.

Gossip is when you hear something you like about someone you don't.

Gossip is when you hear something you like about someone you don't.

No horse can go as fast as the money you put on it.

No horse can go as fast as the money you put on it.

He's an honest man - you could shoot craps with him over the telephone.

He's an honest man - you could shoot craps with him over the telephone.

If you wouldn't write it and sign it, don't say it.

If you wouldn't write it and sign it, don't say it.

To sell something, tell a woman it's a bargain; tell a man it's deductible.

To sell something, tell a woman it's a bargain; tell a man it's deductible.

Ever notice that the whisper of temptation can be heard farther than the loudest call...

Ever notice that the whisper of temptation can be heard farther than the loudest call...

A vacation is what you take when you can no longer take what you've been...

A vacation is what you take when you can no longer take what you've been...

Nonchalance is the ability to remain down to earth when everything else is up in...

Nonchalance is the ability to remain down to earth when everything else is up in...

This would be a much better world if more married couples were as deeply in...

This would be a much better world if more married couples were as deeply in...