Women are like elephants to me: nice to look at, but I wouldn't want to own one.

Quote by WC Fields

Topics: Funny Quotes, Women Quotes

Women are like Elephants. I like to watch them, but I wouldn't want to own...

Women are like Elephants. I like to watch them, but I wouldn't want to own...

I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women.

All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women.

A man's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink

A man's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink

A woman drove me to drink and I never even had the courtesy to thank...

A woman drove me to drink and I never even had the courtesy to thank...

I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday.

I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday.

I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food!

I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food!

If people let government decide what foods they eat and what medicines they take, their...

If people let government decide what foods they eat and what medicines they take, their...

I don't like food that's too carefully arranged; it makes me think that the chef...

I don't like food that's too carefully arranged; it makes me think that the chef...

As life's pleasures go, food is second only to sex. Except for salami and eggs....

As life's pleasures go, food is second only to sex. Except for salami and eggs....

Must is a hard nut to crack, but it has a sweet kernel.

Must is a hard nut to crack, but it has a sweet kernel.

We had too much camel in the fridge, so I tried some ways to preserve...

We had too much camel in the fridge, so I tried some ways to preserve...

There is no such thing as a free lunch

There is no such thing as a free lunch

Bread is the king of the table and all else is merely the court that...

Bread is the king of the table and all else is merely the court that...

Eating popcorn: 80% during the trailers. 20% during the movie.

Eating popcorn: 80% during the trailers. 20% during the movie.

Our hamburgers, made from the flesh of chemically impregnated cattle, had been broiled over counterfeit...

Our hamburgers, made from the flesh of chemically impregnated cattle, had been broiled over counterfeit...

Man is born to eat

Man is born to eat

Food should be enjoyed rather than endured.

Food should be enjoyed rather than endured.

Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as...

Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as...

Is Elizabeth Taylor fat? Her favorite food is seconds.

Is Elizabeth Taylor fat? Her favorite food is seconds.

Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.

Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.