Women are like elephants to me: nice to look at, but I wouldn't want to own one.

Quote by WC Fields

Topics: Funny Quotes, Women Quotes

A man's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink

A man's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink

I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday.

I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday.

I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women.

All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women.

A woman drove me to drink and I never even had the courtesy to thank...

A woman drove me to drink and I never even had the courtesy to thank...

I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food!

I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food!

Women are like Elephants. I like to watch them, but I wouldn't want to own...

Women are like Elephants. I like to watch them, but I wouldn't want to own...

Give me one friend, just one, who meets the needs of all my varying moods.

Give me one friend, just one, who meets the needs of all my varying moods.

Having a baby changes the way you view your in-laws. I love it when they...

Having a baby changes the way you view your in-laws. I love it when they...

About the most originality that any writer can hope to achieve honestly is to steal...

About the most originality that any writer can hope to achieve honestly is to steal...

For every age is fed on illusions, lest men should renounce life early, and the...

For every age is fed on illusions, lest men should renounce life early, and the...

In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first.

In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first.

My girlfriend always laughs during sex -- no matter what she's reading.

My girlfriend always laughs during sex -- no matter what she's reading.

Had I but served my God with half the zeal I served my king, he...

Had I but served my God with half the zeal I served my king, he...

Just once, I would like to wake up, turn on the news, and hear...'Monday has...

Just once, I would like to wake up, turn on the news, and hear...'Monday has...

I haven't taken my Christmas lights down. They look so nice on the pumpkin.

I haven't taken my Christmas lights down. They look so nice on the pumpkin.

We should pay as much reverence to youth as we should to age; there are...

We should pay as much reverence to youth as we should to age; there are...

If all the atoms in the universe were transformed into breasts, there would still not...

If all the atoms in the universe were transformed into breasts, there would still not...

I'd rather be called 'Sleazy' than to be identified as intelligent.

I'd rather be called 'Sleazy' than to be identified as intelligent.

One man's folly is another man's wife.

One man's folly is another man's wife.

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief...

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief...