Women are like elephants to me: nice to look at, but I wouldn't want to own one.

Quote by WC Fields

Topics: Funny Quotes, Women Quotes

Women are like Elephants. I like to watch them, but I wouldn't want to own...

Women are like Elephants. I like to watch them, but I wouldn't want to own...

A man's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink

A man's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink

I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday.

I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday.

All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women.

All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women.

I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food!

I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food!

A woman drove me to drink and I never even had the courtesy to thank...

A woman drove me to drink and I never even had the courtesy to thank...

Cigarettes and coffee: an alcoholic's best friend!

Cigarettes and coffee: an alcoholic's best friend!

I know I was an alcoholic because I was preoccupied whether alcohol was going to...

I know I was an alcoholic because I was preoccupied whether alcohol was going to...

I tried to drown my sorrows, but the bastards learned how to swim, and now...

I tried to drown my sorrows, but the bastards learned how to swim, and now...

The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again...

The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again...

In any case, if there's information a parolee is using drugs or alcohol, that is...

In any case, if there's information a parolee is using drugs or alcohol, that is...

Even though a number of people have tried, no one has yet found a way...

Even though a number of people have tried, no one has yet found a way...

Cigarettes and coffee: an alcoholic's best friend!

Cigarettes and coffee: an alcoholic's best friend!

I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning,...

I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning,...

I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked...

I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked...

I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked...

I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked...

Alcohol is the cause and the solution to many of life's problems.

Alcohol is the cause and the solution to many of life's problems.

Man seeks to escape himself in myth, and does so by any means at his...

Man seeks to escape himself in myth, and does so by any means at his...

One reason I don't drink is that I want to know when I am having...

One reason I don't drink is that I want to know when I am having...

Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.

Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.