A woman drove me to drink and I never even had the courtesy to thank her.

Quote by WC Fields

Topics: Alcohol Quotes, Funny Quotes

I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food!

I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food!

A man's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink

A man's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink

I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

Women are like elephants to me: nice to look at, but I wouldn't want to...

Women are like elephants to me: nice to look at, but I wouldn't want to...

All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women.

All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women.

Women are like Elephants. I like to watch them, but I wouldn't want to own...

Women are like Elephants. I like to watch them, but I wouldn't want to own...

I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday.

I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday.

The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again...

The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again...

Alcohol is the cause and the solution to many of life's problems.

Alcohol is the cause and the solution to many of life's problems.

That song, for me, is about drugs and alcohol and loss and love. It's about...

That song, for me, is about drugs and alcohol and loss and love. It's about...

I think a man ought to get drunk at least twice a year just on...

I think a man ought to get drunk at least twice a year just on...

That song, for me, is about drugs and alcohol and loss and love. It's about...

That song, for me, is about drugs and alcohol and loss and love. It's about...

I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning,...

I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning,...

One reason I don't drink is that I want to know when I am having...

One reason I don't drink is that I want to know when I am having...

Herb is the healing of a nation, alcohol is the destruction.

Herb is the healing of a nation, alcohol is the destruction.

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember...

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember...

Cigarettes and coffee: an alcoholic's best friend!

Cigarettes and coffee: an alcoholic's best friend!

Cigarettes and coffee: an alcoholic's best friend!

Cigarettes and coffee: an alcoholic's best friend!

I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked...

I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked...

I know I was an alcoholic because I was preoccupied whether alcohol was going to...

I know I was an alcoholic because I was preoccupied whether alcohol was going to...

If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog.

If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog.