Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.

Quote by Fulton Sheen

Topics: Funny Quotes, Religious Quotes

It is utterly false and cruelly arbitrary to put all the play and learning into...

It is utterly false and cruelly arbitrary to put all the play and learning into...

Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life.

Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life.

That's the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me

That's the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me

What makes old age hard to bear is not the failing of one's faculties, mental...

What makes old age hard to bear is not the failing of one's faculties, mental...

One day soon the Gillette company will announce the development of a razor that, thanks...

One day soon the Gillette company will announce the development of a razor that, thanks...

No one has ever come back from the other world. I can't console you, but...

No one has ever come back from the other world. I can't console you, but...

Always, however brutal an age may actually have been, its style transmits its music only.

Always, however brutal an age may actually have been, its style transmits its music only.

NBC - no body cares.

NBC - no body cares.

A good marriage is like a casserole, only those responsible for it really know what...

A good marriage is like a casserole, only those responsible for it really know what...

If you dont know where you are going, you might wind up someplace else.

If you dont know where you are going, you might wind up someplace else.

A man's got to do what a man's got to do. A woman must do...

A man's got to do what a man's got to do. A woman must do...

When I was very young and the urge to be someplace was on me, I...

When I was very young and the urge to be someplace was on me, I...

The heresy of one age becomes the orthodoxy of the next.

The heresy of one age becomes the orthodoxy of the next.

Before God we are all equally wise - and equally foolish.

Before God we are all equally wise - and equally foolish.

Consider the postage stamp, my son. It secures success through its ability to stick to...

Consider the postage stamp, my son. It secures success through its ability to stick to...

First you forget names, then you forget faces, then you forget to pull your zipper...

First you forget names, then you forget faces, then you forget to pull your zipper...

On Mondays, I'm always f*cking thankful I don't have a swear jar.

On Mondays, I'm always f*cking thankful I don't have a swear jar.

Let me tell you something that we Israelis have against Moses. He took us 40...

Let me tell you something that we Israelis have against Moses. He took us 40...

I finally found out how priests get holy water. They boil the hell out of...

I finally found out how priests get holy water. They boil the hell out of...

When you're too religious, you tend to point your finger to judge instead of extending...

When you're too religious, you tend to point your finger to judge instead of extending...