Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.

Quote by Fulton Sheen

Topics: Funny Quotes, Religious Quotes

The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put...

The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put...

You know how to tell if the teacher is hung over? Movie Day.

You know how to tell if the teacher is hung over? Movie Day.

Yes, madam, I am drunk. But in the morning I will be sober and you...

Yes, madam, I am drunk. But in the morning I will be sober and you...

When your ex asks if you can still be friends right after a break up,...

When your ex asks if you can still be friends right after a break up,...

I refuse to endure months of expensive humiliation only to be told that at the...

I refuse to endure months of expensive humiliation only to be told that at the...

A quarrelsome wife is as annoying as constant dripping on a rainy day. Stopping her...

A quarrelsome wife is as annoying as constant dripping on a rainy day. Stopping her...

Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell...

Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell...

Cos it's strange, isn't it. You stand in the middle of a library and go...

Cos it's strange, isn't it. You stand in the middle of a library and go...

Girls have an unfair advantage over men: if they can't get what they want by...

Girls have an unfair advantage over men: if they can't get what they want by...

A pessimist is a man who thinks all women are bad. An optimist is one...

A pessimist is a man who thinks all women are bad. An optimist is one...

I used to keep my college room mate from reading my personal mail by hiding...

I used to keep my college room mate from reading my personal mail by hiding...

History is the version of past events that people have decided to agree upon.

History is the version of past events that people have decided to agree upon.

Sometimes I'm so sweet even I can't stand it.

Sometimes I'm so sweet even I can't stand it.

Wealth - any income that is at least one hundred dollars more a year than...

Wealth - any income that is at least one hundred dollars more a year than...

Professional golf is the only sport where, if you win 20% of the time, youre...

Professional golf is the only sport where, if you win 20% of the time, youre...

I would describe my spirituality as exactly the opposite of having a religious affiliation.

I would describe my spirituality as exactly the opposite of having a religious affiliation.

In the wintertime, in the snow country, citrus fruit was so rare, and if you...

In the wintertime, in the snow country, citrus fruit was so rare, and if you...

Have you noticed that all the people in favour of birth control are already born?

Have you noticed that all the people in favour of birth control are already born?

God will never drop you any further than your knees and that is the perfect...

God will never drop you any further than your knees and that is the perfect...

I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a...

I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a...