Heaven is an American salary, a Chinese cook, an English house, and a Japanese wife. Hell is defined as having a Chinese salary, an English cook, a Japanese house, and an American wife.

Quote by James H Kabbler III

Topics: Funny Quotes, Religious Quotes

As a child, a library card takes you to exotic, faraway places. When you're grown...

As a child, a library card takes you to exotic, faraway places. When you're grown...

I was always too mature for my age - and not very happy. I had...

I was always too mature for my age - and not very happy. I had...

My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a bitch.

My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a bitch.

Morality comes with the sad wisdom of age, when the sense of curiosity has withered.

Morality comes with the sad wisdom of age, when the sense of curiosity has withered.

Today I saw a baby with a bib that said 'This dumbass put my cape...

Today I saw a baby with a bib that said 'This dumbass put my cape...

I have to be careful to get out before I become the grotesque caricature of...

I have to be careful to get out before I become the grotesque caricature of...

Youre a woman whos been getting nothing but dirty breaks. Well, we can clean and...

Youre a woman whos been getting nothing but dirty breaks. Well, we can clean and...

Never join with your friend when he abuses his horse or his wife, unless the...

Never join with your friend when he abuses his horse or his wife, unless the...

What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? About 30 pounds.

What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? About 30 pounds.

If you ask me anything I don't know, I'm not going to answer.

If you ask me anything I don't know, I'm not going to answer.

Last, but by no means least, courage - moral courage, the courage of one's convictions,...

Last, but by no means least, courage - moral courage, the courage of one's convictions,...

You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note...

You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note...

Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.

Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.

The body of a young woman is God's greatest achievement. Of course He could have...

The body of a young woman is God's greatest achievement. Of course He could have...

I saw a notice that said Drink Canada Dry and I've just started.

I saw a notice that said Drink Canada Dry and I've just started.

My father taught me to work; he did not teach me to love it.

My father taught me to work; he did not teach me to love it.

Be nice to everyone on your way to the top because you pass them all...

Be nice to everyone on your way to the top because you pass them all...

Zsa Zsa Gabor got married as a one-off, and it was so successful she turned...

Zsa Zsa Gabor got married as a one-off, and it was so successful she turned...

When god created the horse, he said to the magnificent creature: I have made thee...

When god created the horse, he said to the magnificent creature: I have made thee...

A religious person is devout in the sense that he has no doubt about the...

A religious person is devout in the sense that he has no doubt about the...