My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a bitch.

Quote by Jack Nicholson

Topics: Funny Quotes, Parents Quotes

I only take Viagra when I'm with more than one woman.

I only take Viagra when I'm with more than one woman.

Now comes the part where I relieve you, the little people, of the burden of...

Now comes the part where I relieve you, the little people, of the burden of...

When I was in high school, I earned the pimple award and every other gross-out...

When I was in high school, I earned the pimple award and every other gross-out...

In my last year of school, I was voted Class Optimist and Class Pessimist. Looking...

In my last year of school, I was voted Class Optimist and Class Pessimist. Looking...

I'm a New Wave baby, so I got very stimulated by foreign film.

I'm a New Wave baby, so I got very stimulated by foreign film.

I've never been able to say I've been influenced by a list of artists I...

I've never been able to say I've been influenced by a list of artists I...

I've been too many places. I'm like the bad penny.

I've been too many places. I'm like the bad penny.

Age is the first limitation on roles that I've ever had to encounter, and I...

Age is the first limitation on roles that I've ever had to encounter, and I...

Well, a younger woman is a type, but not necessarily a type for me. And...

Well, a younger woman is a type, but not necessarily a type for me. And...

In other words, I wouldn't like to be an actor if I could only be...

In other words, I wouldn't like to be an actor if I could only be...

I don't have any fear of intimacy, but rather thrive on it, which is rare...

I don't have any fear of intimacy, but rather thrive on it, which is rare...

I sort of understood that when I first started: that you shouldn't repeat a success....

I sort of understood that when I first started: that you shouldn't repeat a success....

There's only two people in your life you should lie to... the police and your...

There's only two people in your life you should lie to... the police and your...

Most of the early part of an actor's career, you do the jobs you get.

Most of the early part of an actor's career, you do the jobs you get.

I think that's what distinguishes Schmidt, really. In the movies now, so much of what...

I think that's what distinguishes Schmidt, really. In the movies now, so much of what...

I used to think that one of the great signs of security was the ability...

I used to think that one of the great signs of security was the ability...

When I am cast in a movie where I feel that the woman's part is...

When I am cast in a movie where I feel that the woman's part is...

I know I can act. There aren't too many other jobs I know how to...

I know I can act. There aren't too many other jobs I know how to...

Early on, if I was alone two three nights in a row, I'd start writing...

Early on, if I was alone two three nights in a row, I'd start writing...

Well, I'm not going to sit here and pretend that I haven't been a rogue...

Well, I'm not going to sit here and pretend that I haven't been a rogue...