Most of the time when people laugh at me...I'm not trying to be funny.

Quote by Donny Norris

Topics: Funny Quotes, Witty Quotes

Borrow your wife's pink slippers just to go check the mail and everybody in the...

Borrow your wife's pink slippers just to go check the mail and everybody in the...

Baseball is like church. Many attend, few understand.

Baseball is like church. Many attend, few understand.

The surest sign of age is loneliness.

The surest sign of age is loneliness.

God gave you a gift of 86,400 seconds today. Have you used one to say...

God gave you a gift of 86,400 seconds today. Have you used one to say...

To be seventy years young is sometimes far more cheerful and hopeful than to be...

To be seventy years young is sometimes far more cheerful and hopeful than to be...

For a quart of Ale is a meal for a King.

For a quart of Ale is a meal for a King.

Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his...

Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his...

I was so poor growing up...if I wasn't a boy...I'd have nothing to play with.

I was so poor growing up...if I wasn't a boy...I'd have nothing to play with.

Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people...

Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people...

Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side, a dark side, and...

Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side, a dark side, and...

Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving...

Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving...

One of the universal rules of happiness is: always be wary of any helpful item...

One of the universal rules of happiness is: always be wary of any helpful item...

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's...

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's...

Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.

Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.

The best example of democracy I can recall is five wolves sitting down to dinner...

The best example of democracy I can recall is five wolves sitting down to dinner...

One hour of right-down love is worth an age of dully living on.

One hour of right-down love is worth an age of dully living on.

I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and...

I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and...

It is a terrible thing to look over your shoulder when you are trying to...

It is a terrible thing to look over your shoulder when you are trying to...

A drunk mans words are a sober mans thoughts.

A drunk mans words are a sober mans thoughts.

A large nose is the mark of a witty, courteous, affable, generous and liberal man.

A large nose is the mark of a witty, courteous, affable, generous and liberal man.