One of the universal rules of happiness is: always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual.

Quote by Terry Pratchett

Topics: Funny Quotes, Happiness Quotes

I meant, said Ipslore bitterly, what is there in this world that truly makes living...

I meant, said Ipslore bitterly, what is there in this world that truly makes living...

Elves are wonderful. They provoke wonder. Elves are marvellous. They cause marvels. Elves are fantastic....

Elves are wonderful. They provoke wonder. Elves are marvellous. They cause marvels. Elves are fantastic....

In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this.

In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this.

Stories of imagination tend to upset those without one.

Stories of imagination tend to upset those without one.

Sometimes it is better to light a flamethrower than curse the darkness.

Sometimes it is better to light a flamethrower than curse the darkness.

Most gods throw dice, but Fate plays chess, and you don't find out til too...

Most gods throw dice, but Fate plays chess, and you don't find out til too...

It is often said that before you die your life passes before your eyes. It...

It is often said that before you die your life passes before your eyes. It...

A Thaum is the basic unit of magical strength. It has been universally established as...

A Thaum is the basic unit of magical strength. It has been universally established as...

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on...

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on...

Sooner or later we're all someone's dog.

Sooner or later we're all someone's dog.

You can't trample infidels when you're a tortoise. I mean, all you could do is...

You can't trample infidels when you're a tortoise. I mean, all you could do is...

The truth may be out there, but lies are inside your head.

The truth may be out there, but lies are inside your head.

Everything starts somewhere, although many physicists disagree.

Everything starts somewhere, although many physicists disagree.

Why do you go away? So that you can come back. So that you can...

Why do you go away? So that you can come back. So that you can...

Everyday took an age to go by, which was odd, because days plural went past...

Everyday took an age to go by, which was odd, because days plural went past...

Suicide was against the law. Johnny had wondered why. It meant that if you missed,...

Suicide was against the law. Johnny had wondered why. It meant that if you missed,...

Genius is always allowed some leeway, once the hammer has been pried from its hands...

Genius is always allowed some leeway, once the hammer has been pried from its hands...

Most species do their own evolving, making it up as they go along, which is...

Most species do their own evolving, making it up as they go along, which is...

Writing fantasy lets me imagine a great deal more than, say, writing about alligators, and...

Writing fantasy lets me imagine a great deal more than, say, writing about alligators, and...

There's a challenge to playing these fantasy figures because they are fantasy figures. You have...

There's a challenge to playing these fantasy figures because they are fantasy figures. You have...