One of the universal rules of happiness is: always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual.

Quote by Terry Pratchett

Topics: Funny Quotes, Happiness Quotes

Everything starts somewhere, although many physicists disagree.

Everything starts somewhere, although many physicists disagree.

It is often said that before you die your life passes before your eyes. It...

It is often said that before you die your life passes before your eyes. It...

Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man...

Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man...

Writing is the most fun you can have by yourself.

Writing is the most fun you can have by yourself.

The universe, they said, depended for its operation on the balance of four forces which...

The universe, they said, depended for its operation on the balance of four forces which...

I'd have you lot up in front of the University authorities first thing in the...

I'd have you lot up in front of the University authorities first thing in the...

Fantasy is an exercise bicycle for the mind. It might not take you anywhere, but...

Fantasy is an exercise bicycle for the mind. It might not take you anywhere, but...

Most gods throw dice, but Fate plays chess, and you don't find out til too...

Most gods throw dice, but Fate plays chess, and you don't find out til too...

Sometimes it is better to light a flamethrower than curse the darkness.

Sometimes it is better to light a flamethrower than curse the darkness.

Why do you go away? So that you can come back. So that you can...

Why do you go away? So that you can come back. So that you can...

Suicide was against the law. Johnny had wondered why. It meant that if you missed,...

Suicide was against the law. Johnny had wondered why. It meant that if you missed,...

A Thaum is the basic unit of magical strength. It has been universally established as...

A Thaum is the basic unit of magical strength. It has been universally established as...

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on...

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on...

Only in our dreams are we free. The rest of the time we need wages.

Only in our dreams are we free. The rest of the time we need wages.

If there was anything that depressed him more than his own cynicism, it was that...

If there was anything that depressed him more than his own cynicism, it was that...

Taxation is just a sophisticated way of demanding money with menaces.

Taxation is just a sophisticated way of demanding money with menaces.

Taxation is just a sophisticated way of demanding money with menaces

Taxation is just a sophisticated way of demanding money with menaces

I dont know what to do or where to turn in this taxation matter. Somewhere...

I dont know what to do or where to turn in this taxation matter. Somewhere...

Tax reform is taking the taxes off things that have been taxed in the past...

Tax reform is taking the taxes off things that have been taxed in the past...

Tax reform means, 'Don't tax you, don't tax me. Tax that fellow behind the tree.'

Tax reform means, 'Don't tax you, don't tax me. Tax that fellow behind the tree.'