One of the universal rules of happiness is: always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual.

Quote by Terry Pratchett

Topics: Funny Quotes, Happiness Quotes

In the beginning there was nothing, which exploded.

In the beginning there was nothing, which exploded.

Elves are wonderful. They provoke wonder. Elves are marvellous. They cause marvels. Elves are fantastic....

Elves are wonderful. They provoke wonder. Elves are marvellous. They cause marvels. Elves are fantastic....

The pen is mightier than the sword if the sword is very short, and the...

The pen is mightier than the sword if the sword is very short, and the...

It is often said that before you die your life passes before your eyes. It...

It is often said that before you die your life passes before your eyes. It...

They say a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, but it's not one half so...

They say a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, but it's not one half so...

Taxation is just a sophisticated way of demanding money with menaces.

Taxation is just a sophisticated way of demanding money with menaces.

Death was Nature's way of telling you to slow down.

Death was Nature's way of telling you to slow down.

Sooner or later we're all someone's dog.

Sooner or later we're all someone's dog.

Fantasy is an exercise bicycle for the mind. It might not take you anywhere, but...

Fantasy is an exercise bicycle for the mind. It might not take you anywhere, but...

Using a metaphor in front of a man as unimaginative as Ridcully was like a...

Using a metaphor in front of a man as unimaginative as Ridcully was like a...

Only in our dreams are we free. The rest of the time we need wages.

Only in our dreams are we free. The rest of the time we need wages.

Light thinks it travels faster than anything but it is wrong. No matter how fast...

Light thinks it travels faster than anything but it is wrong. No matter how fast...

The truth may be out there, but lies are inside your head.

The truth may be out there, but lies are inside your head.

Genius is always allowed some leeway, once the hammer has been pried from its hands...

Genius is always allowed some leeway, once the hammer has been pried from its hands...

I'd have you lot up in front of the University authorities first thing in the...

I'd have you lot up in front of the University authorities first thing in the...

Writing is the most fun you can have by yourself.

Writing is the most fun you can have by yourself.

It's not worth doing something unless you were doing something that someone, somewere, would much...

It's not worth doing something unless you were doing something that someone, somewere, would much...

If it weren't for the last minute, nothing would get done...

If it weren't for the last minute, nothing would get done...

Democracy is being allowed to vote for the candidate you dislike least.

Democracy is being allowed to vote for the candidate you dislike least.

The rain forest has Sting. Now Siberia has Jack Dee. Someone had to draw the...

The rain forest has Sting. Now Siberia has Jack Dee. Someone had to draw the...

The only way to find true happiness is to risk being completely cut open.

The only way to find true happiness is to risk being completely cut open.