Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
Quote by Carl Zwanzig
A guy at work went in for a competition and won a trip to China....
That's okay, honey. I used to believe in things too.
Nobody cares that youre smart and nobody cares that your kids dont have bruises.
If Monday was a person, it'd be a Ginger...
You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline -...
I know of nothing more laughable than a doctor who does not die of old...
A woman can keep one secret - the secret of her age.
Youth is too tumultuous for felicity; old age too insecure for happiness. The period most...
As a dog returns to its vomit, so a fool repeats his folly.
Education is what remains when one has forgotten everything he learned in school.
Middle age is youth without levity, and age without decay.
Jesus died too soon. If he had lived to my age he would have repudiated...
Man has will, but woman has her way.
The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.
Look, if I'd wanted a lecture on the rights of man, I'd have gone to...
When an illness knocks you on your ass, you should stay down and relax for...
Act like a horse. Be dumb. Just run.
A truly great book should be read in youth, again in maturity and once more...
New opinions often appear first as jokes and fancies, then as blasphemies and treason, then...
Cos it's strange, isn't it. You stand in the middle of a library and go...