Most of the time when people laugh at me...I'm not trying to be funny.

Quote by Donny Norris

Topics: Funny Quotes, Witty Quotes

Borrow your wife's pink slippers just to go check the mail and everybody in the...

Borrow your wife's pink slippers just to go check the mail and everybody in the...

He's done more U-turns than a dodgy plumber.

He's done more U-turns than a dodgy plumber.

If you work in a hospital, you cant easily fake call in sick to work....

If you work in a hospital, you cant easily fake call in sick to work....

Wealth - any income that is at least one hundred dollars more a year than...

Wealth - any income that is at least one hundred dollars more a year than...

Hollywood is where they shoot too many pictures and not enough actors.

Hollywood is where they shoot too many pictures and not enough actors.

The Irish ignore anything they can't drink or punch.

The Irish ignore anything they can't drink or punch.

Law not served by power is an illusion; but power not ruled by law is...

Law not served by power is an illusion; but power not ruled by law is...

Reading, after a certain age, diverts the mind too much from its creative pursuits. Any...

Reading, after a certain age, diverts the mind too much from its creative pursuits. Any...

Early morning cheerfulness can be extremely obnoxious.

Early morning cheerfulness can be extremely obnoxious.

When I turned two I was really anxious, because I'd doubled my age in a...

When I turned two I was really anxious, because I'd doubled my age in a...

He had ambitions, at one time, to become a sex maniac, but he failed his...

He had ambitions, at one time, to become a sex maniac, but he failed his...

Youth lives on hope, old age on remembrance.

Youth lives on hope, old age on remembrance.

Why does a person even get up in the morning? You have breakfast, you floss...

Why does a person even get up in the morning? You have breakfast, you floss...

If Google can't find the answer, it's not a question.

If Google can't find the answer, it's not a question.

I love how when my soap runs out in the shower, my shampoo magically transforms...

I love how when my soap runs out in the shower, my shampoo magically transforms...

For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper...

For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper...

Ah, yes, Divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a mans genitals through...

Ah, yes, Divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a mans genitals through...

You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note...

You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note...

Rashness belongs to youth; prudence to old age.

Rashness belongs to youth; prudence to old age.

Life is extraordinarily suave and sweet with certain natural, witty, affectionate people who have unusual...

Life is extraordinarily suave and sweet with certain natural, witty, affectionate people who have unusual...