I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.

Quote by Roseanne Barr

Topics: Housekeeping Quotes, Humor Quotes

Excuse the mess but we live here.

Excuse the mess but we live here.

The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take...

The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take...

I figure that if the children are alive when I get home, I've done my...

I figure that if the children are alive when I get home, I've done my...

As a housewife, I feel that if the kids are still alive when my husband...

As a housewife, I feel that if the kids are still alive when my husband...

There's a lot more to being a woman than being a mother, but there's a...

There's a lot more to being a woman than being a mother, but there's a...

It's okay to be fat. So you're fat. Just be fat and shut up about...

It's okay to be fat. So you're fat. Just be fat and shut up about...

Women should try to increase their size rather than decrease it, because I believe the...

Women should try to increase their size rather than decrease it, because I believe the...

Women should try to increase their size rather than decrease it, because I believe the...

Women should try to increase their size rather than decrease it, because I believe the...

Women complain about PMS, but I think of it as the only time of the...

Women complain about PMS, but I think of it as the only time of the...

The thing women have got to learn is that nobody gives you power. You just...

The thing women have got to learn is that nobody gives you power. You just...

My daughter made me a Jerry Springer-watching kit, with crackers, Cheez Whiz, polyester stretch pants...

My daughter made me a Jerry Springer-watching kit, with crackers, Cheez Whiz, polyester stretch pants...

The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take...

The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take...

My hope is that gays will be running the world, because then there would be...

My hope is that gays will be running the world, because then there would be...

I was completely nuts for most of my life.

I was completely nuts for most of my life.

I consider myself to be a pretty good judge of people... that's why I don't...

I consider myself to be a pretty good judge of people... that's why I don't...

Women should try to increase their size rather than decrease it, because I believe the...

Women should try to increase their size rather than decrease it, because I believe the...

I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.

I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.

Wasn't planning on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere.

Wasn't planning on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere.

It is better to be beautiful than to be good, but it is better to...

It is better to be beautiful than to be good, but it is better to...

People tell me that Senator Edwards got picked for his good looks, his sex appeal,...

People tell me that Senator Edwards got picked for his good looks, his sex appeal,...

A man's got to do what a man's got to do. A woman must do...

A man's got to do what a man's got to do. A woman must do...