I figure that if the children are alive when I get home, I've done my job.

Quote by Roseanne Barr

Topics: Roseanne Barr Quotes

My hope is that gays will be running the world, because then there would be...

My hope is that gays will be running the world, because then there would be...

My daughter made me a Jerry Springer-watching kit, with crackers, Cheez Whiz, polyester stretch pants...

My daughter made me a Jerry Springer-watching kit, with crackers, Cheez Whiz, polyester stretch pants...

I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.

I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.

I figure if my kids are alive at the end of the day, I've done...

I figure if my kids are alive at the end of the day, I've done...

Experts say you should never hit your children in anger. When is a good time?...

Experts say you should never hit your children in anger. When is a good time?...

The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take...

The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take...

Women should try to increase their size rather than decrease it, because I believe the...

Women should try to increase their size rather than decrease it, because I believe the...

Excuse the mess but we live here.

Excuse the mess but we live here.

There's a lot more to being a woman than being a mother, but there's a...

There's a lot more to being a woman than being a mother, but there's a...

Women should try to increase their size rather than decrease it, because I believe the...

Women should try to increase their size rather than decrease it, because I believe the...

The quickest way to a man's heart is through his chest.

The quickest way to a man's heart is through his chest.

I was completely nuts for most of my life.

I was completely nuts for most of my life.

Women complain about PMS, but I think of it as the only time of the...

Women complain about PMS, but I think of it as the only time of the...

I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.

I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.

I hate every human being on earth. I feel that everyone is beneath me, and...

I hate every human being on earth. I feel that everyone is beneath me, and...

I know how to do anythingI'm a mom

I know how to do anythingI'm a mom

I consider myself to be a pretty good judge of people... that's why I don't...

I consider myself to be a pretty good judge of people... that's why I don't...

Women should try to increase their size rather than decrease it, because I believe the...

Women should try to increase their size rather than decrease it, because I believe the...

I don't think I'm too thin at all. I understand when people say, 'Well your...

I don't think I'm too thin at all. I understand when people say, 'Well your...

Where ambition can cover its enterprises, even to the person himself, under the appearance of...

Where ambition can cover its enterprises, even to the person himself, under the appearance of...

People who are not in love fail to understand how an intelligent man can suffer...

People who are not in love fail to understand how an intelligent man can suffer...