I don't pick subjects as much as they pick me.

Quote by Andy Rooney

Topics: Andy Rooney Quotes

I've done a lot of complaining here, but of all the things I've complained about,...

I've done a lot of complaining here, but of all the things I've complained about,...

The dullest Olympic sport is curling, whatever 'curling' means.

The dullest Olympic sport is curling, whatever 'curling' means.

When a politician mentions God half a dozen times in a speech, it's to appropriate...

When a politician mentions God half a dozen times in a speech, it's to appropriate...

Anyone who lies golf on television would enjoy watching the grass grow on the greens.

Anyone who lies golf on television would enjoy watching the grass grow on the greens.

I didn't get old on purpose, it just happened. If you're lucky, it could happen...

I didn't get old on purpose, it just happened. If you're lucky, it could happen...

If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it.

If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it.

The Super Bowl isn't for kids, I had a great time though and it was...

The Super Bowl isn't for kids, I had a great time though and it was...

Taxes are important. President Bush's tax proposals leave no rich person behind. Voters approve of...

Taxes are important. President Bush's tax proposals leave no rich person behind. Voters approve of...

All men are not created equal but should be treated as though they were under...

All men are not created equal but should be treated as though they were under...

If dogs could talk it would take a lot of the fun out of owning...

If dogs could talk it would take a lot of the fun out of owning...

Nothing in fine print is ever good news.

Nothing in fine print is ever good news.

Most of us end up with no more than five or six people who remember...

Most of us end up with no more than five or six people who remember...

As an old reporter, we have a few secrets, and the first thing is we...

As an old reporter, we have a few secrets, and the first thing is we...

Computers may save time but they sure waste a lot of paper. About 98 percent...

Computers may save time but they sure waste a lot of paper. About 98 percent...

The federal government has sponsored research that has produced a tomato that is perfect in...

The federal government has sponsored research that has produced a tomato that is perfect in...

Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things...

Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things...

I hope all of you are going to fill out your census form when it...

I hope all of you are going to fill out your census form when it...

Vegetarian - that's an old Indian word meaning lousy hunter.

Vegetarian - that's an old Indian word meaning lousy hunter.

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.

I just wish we knew a little less about his urethra and a little more...

I just wish we knew a little less about his urethra and a little more...