I've done a lot of complaining here, but of all the things I've complained about, I can't complain about my life.

Quote by Andy Rooney

Topics: Life Quotes

Computers may save time but they sure waste a lot of paper. About 98 percent...

Computers may save time but they sure waste a lot of paper. About 98 percent...

Obscenities... I think a lot of dumb people do it because they can't think of...

Obscenities... I think a lot of dumb people do it because they can't think of...

The only people who say worse things about politicians that reporters do are other politicians.

The only people who say worse things about politicians that reporters do are other politicians.

The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a...

The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a...

When a politician mentions God half a dozen times in a speech, it's to appropriate...

When a politician mentions God half a dozen times in a speech, it's to appropriate...

Anyone who watches golf on television would enjoy watching the grass grow on the greens.

Anyone who watches golf on television would enjoy watching the grass grow on the greens.

I dislike loud-mouthed patriots who think they like our country more than I do. Some...

I dislike loud-mouthed patriots who think they like our country more than I do. Some...

Anyone who lies golf on television would enjoy watching the grass grow on the greens.

Anyone who lies golf on television would enjoy watching the grass grow on the greens.

Phyllis Schlafly speaks for all American women who oppose equal rights for themselves.

Phyllis Schlafly speaks for all American women who oppose equal rights for themselves.

I didn't get old on purpose, it just happened. If you're lucky, it could happen...

I didn't get old on purpose, it just happened. If you're lucky, it could happen...

I just wish we knew a little less about his urethra and a little more...

I just wish we knew a little less about his urethra and a little more...

Death is a distant rumor to the young.

Death is a distant rumor to the young.

I like ice hockey, but it's a frustrating game to watch. It's hard to keep...

I like ice hockey, but it's a frustrating game to watch. It's hard to keep...

If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it.

If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it.

The Super Bowl isn't for kids, I had a great time though and it was...

The Super Bowl isn't for kids, I had a great time though and it was...

I hope all of you are going to fill out your census form when it...

I hope all of you are going to fill out your census form when it...

Because over the past few years, more money has been spent on breast implants and...

Because over the past few years, more money has been spent on breast implants and...

All men are not created equal but should be treated as though they were under...

All men are not created equal but should be treated as though they were under...

Figure skating is an unlikely Olympic event but its good television. It's sort of a...

Figure skating is an unlikely Olympic event but its good television. It's sort of a...

The federal government has sponsored research that has produced a tomato that is perfect in...

The federal government has sponsored research that has produced a tomato that is perfect in...