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Computers may save time but they sure waste a lot of paper. About 98 percent...

Computers may save time but they sure waste a lot of paper. About 98 percent...

Phyllis Schlafly speaks for all American women who oppose equal rights for themselves.

Phyllis Schlafly speaks for all American women who oppose equal rights for themselves.

Obscenities... I think a lot of dumb people do it because they can't think of...

Obscenities... I think a lot of dumb people do it because they can't think of...

The average bright young man who is drafted hates the whole business because an army...

The average bright young man who is drafted hates the whole business because an army...

If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it.

If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it.

Anyone who watches golf on television would enjoy watching the grass grow on the greens.

Anyone who watches golf on television would enjoy watching the grass grow on the greens.

I don't like food that's too carefully arranged; it makes me think that the chef...

I don't like food that's too carefully arranged; it makes me think that the chef...

Because over the past few years, more money has been spent on breast implants and...

Because over the past few years, more money has been spent on breast implants and...

Death is a distant rumor to the young.

Death is a distant rumor to the young.

Nothing in fine print is ever good news.

Nothing in fine print is ever good news.

The closing of a door can bring blessed privacy and comfort - the opening, terror....

The closing of a door can bring blessed privacy and comfort - the opening, terror....

As an old reporter, we have a few secrets, and the first thing is we...

As an old reporter, we have a few secrets, and the first thing is we...

The only people who say worse things about politicians that reporters do are other politicians.

The only people who say worse things about politicians that reporters do are other politicians.

I've done a lot of complaining here, but of all the things I've complained about,...

I've done a lot of complaining here, but of all the things I've complained about,...

Democrats (I think to myself) are liberals who believe the people are basically good, but...

Democrats (I think to myself) are liberals who believe the people are basically good, but...

Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things...

Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things...

Vegetarian - that's an old Indian word meaning 'lousy hunter'

Vegetarian - that's an old Indian word meaning 'lousy hunter'

I dislike loud-mouthed patriots who think they like our country more than I do. Some...

I dislike loud-mouthed patriots who think they like our country more than I do. Some...

You're just left with yourself all the time, whatever you do anyway. You've got to...

You're just left with yourself all the time, whatever you do anyway. You've got to...

A nation can assume that the addition of the words under God to its pledge...

A nation can assume that the addition of the words under God to its pledge...

At home, you always have to be a politician; when you're abroad, you almost feel...

At home, you always have to be a politician; when you're abroad, you almost feel...