Personally, I don't think there's intelligent life on other planets. Why should other planets be any different from this one?

Quote by Bob Monkhouse

Topics: Bad Day Quotes

Silence is not only golden, it is seldom misquoted.

Silence is not only golden, it is seldom misquoted.

I'm not saying my wife's a bad cook, but she uses a smoke alarm as...

I'm not saying my wife's a bad cook, but she uses a smoke alarm as...

My wife was fitted with a coil. For about 18 months I hated it! She...

My wife was fitted with a coil. For about 18 months I hated it! She...

The last time I was in Spain I got through six Jeffrey Archer novels. I...

The last time I was in Spain I got through six Jeffrey Archer novels. I...

I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.

I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.

In youth we run into difficulties. In old age difficulties run into us.

In youth we run into difficulties. In old age difficulties run into us.

You end up as you deserve. In old age you must put up with the...

You end up as you deserve. In old age you must put up with the...

Ah, women. They make the highs higher and the lows more frequent.

Ah, women. They make the highs higher and the lows more frequent.

Whenever I'm caught between two evils, I take the one I've never tried.

Whenever I'm caught between two evils, I take the one I've never tried.

Whenever the talk turns to age, I say I am 49 plus VAT.

Whenever the talk turns to age, I say I am 49 plus VAT.

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the...

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the...

The trouble with young writers is that they are all in their sixties.

The trouble with young writers is that they are all in their sixties.

All good things must come to an end, but all bad things can continue forever.

All good things must come to an end, but all bad things can continue forever.

Over the past 50 years Bob Hope employed 88 joke writers who supplied him with...

Over the past 50 years Bob Hope employed 88 joke writers who supplied him with...

In youth we learn; in age we understand.

In youth we learn; in age we understand.

One way to break up any kind of tension is good deep breathing.

One way to break up any kind of tension is good deep breathing.

Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed there are many rewards, if you...

Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed there are many rewards, if you...

I must confess, I was born at a very early age.

I must confess, I was born at a very early age.

There are a good many fools who call me a friend, and also a good...

There are a good many fools who call me a friend, and also a good...

New needs need new techniques. And the modern artists have found new ways and new...

New needs need new techniques. And the modern artists have found new ways and new...

I'm as pure as the driven slush.

I'm as pure as the driven slush.