The trouble with young writers is that they are all in their sixties.

Quote by Somerset Maugham

Topics: Funny Quotes, Writers Quotes

Death is a very dull, dreary affair, and my advice to you is to have...

Death is a very dull, dreary affair, and my advice to you is to have...

I made up my mind long ago that life was too short to do anything...

I made up my mind long ago that life was too short to do anything...

There are three rules for writing a novel. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are.

There are three rules for writing a novel. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are.

The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit.

The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit.

An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex.

An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex.

Rashness belongs to youth; prudence to old age.

Rashness belongs to youth; prudence to old age.

Give me one friend, just one, who meets the needs of all my varying moods.

Give me one friend, just one, who meets the needs of all my varying moods.

Advice in old age is foolish; for what can be more absurd than to increase...

Advice in old age is foolish; for what can be more absurd than to increase...

It is my art. I am better at it than I ever was. And I...

It is my art. I am better at it than I ever was. And I...

Do you think that when they asked George Washington for ID that he just whipped...

Do you think that when they asked George Washington for ID that he just whipped...

For life in general, there is but one decree; youth is a blunder, manhood a...

For life in general, there is but one decree; youth is a blunder, manhood a...

The most important job is not to be governor, or first lady in my case

The most important job is not to be governor, or first lady in my case

Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are 5 people...

Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are 5 people...

God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.

God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.

I hate when I'm about to hug someone really sexy and then my face hits...

I hate when I'm about to hug someone really sexy and then my face hits...

I don't have a bank account because I don't know my mother's maiden name.

I don't have a bank account because I don't know my mother's maiden name.

It is not the end of joy that makes old age so sad, but the...

It is not the end of joy that makes old age so sad, but the...

Any girl can look glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look...

Any girl can look glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look...

A good sermon should be like a woman's skirt: short enough to arouse interest but...

A good sermon should be like a woman's skirt: short enough to arouse interest but...

When I came here, I couldn't speak a word of English, but my sex life...

When I came here, I couldn't speak a word of English, but my sex life...

Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.

Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.