Quotes by Rodney Dangerfield

On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.

#Funny, #Halloween

In the school I went to, they asked a kid to prove the law of...

#Funny, #School

Everyone says that looks don't matter, age doesn't matter, money doesn't matter. But i never...

#Dating, #Funny

One woman I was dating called and said, 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I...

#Dating, #Funny

I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex. In fact, I...

#Food, #Funny

I told my psychiatrist everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous; everyone hasn't...

#Hilarious, #Life