California is a fine place to live - if you happen to be an orange.

Quote by Fred Allen

Topics: Funny Quotes

We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian...

We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian...

Imitation is the sincerest form of television.

Imitation is the sincerest form of television.

Ed Sullivan will be around as long as someone else has talent.

Ed Sullivan will be around as long as someone else has talent.

Television is called a medium because anything good on it is rare

Television is called a medium because anything good on it is rare

A committee is a group of the unprepared, appointed by the unwilling to do the...

A committee is a group of the unprepared, appointed by the unwilling to do the...

A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known,...

A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known,...

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for stars.

Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for stars.

What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement?

What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement?

Treat employees like partners, and they act like partners.

Treat employees like partners, and they act like partners.

A telescope will magnify a star a thousand times, but a good press agent can...

A telescope will magnify a star a thousand times, but a good press agent can...

The vice-president of an advertising agency is a bit of executive fungus that forms on...

The vice-president of an advertising agency is a bit of executive fungus that forms on...

The first thing that strikes a visitor to Paris is a taxi.

The first thing that strikes a visitor to Paris is a taxi.

When a radio comedian's program is finally finished it slinks down Memory Lane into the...

When a radio comedian's program is finally finished it slinks down Memory Lane into the...

Her hat is a creation that will never go out of style; it will just...

Her hat is a creation that will never go out of style; it will just...

Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and...

Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and...

You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a...

You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a...

The advertising world had space men in it before spacemen existed.

The advertising world had space men in it before spacemen existed.

An associate producer is the only guy in Hollywood who will associate with a producer.

An associate producer is the only guy in Hollywood who will associate with a producer.

I can't understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when...

I can't understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when...