I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition back.

Quote by Fred Allen

Topics: Law And Lawyers Quotes, Learning Quotes

Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and...

Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and...

Television is a triumph of equipment over people and the minds that control it are...

Television is a triumph of equipment over people and the minds that control it are...

You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood and place it in the navel of...

You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood and place it in the navel of...

Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in church. They're afraid God might recognize them...

Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in church. They're afraid God might recognize them...

You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood and place it in the navel of...

You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood and place it in the navel of...

We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian...

We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian...

A gentleman is any man who wouldn't hit a woman with his hat on.

A gentleman is any man who wouldn't hit a woman with his hat on.

I have just returned from Boston. It is the only sane thing to do if...

I have just returned from Boston. It is the only sane thing to do if...

I play a musical instrument a little, but only for my own amazement.

I play a musical instrument a little, but only for my own amazement.

Life, in my estimation, is a biological misadventure that we terminate on the shoulders of...

Life, in my estimation, is a biological misadventure that we terminate on the shoulders of...

When a radio comedian's program is finally finished it slinks down Memory Lane into the...

When a radio comedian's program is finally finished it slinks down Memory Lane into the...

The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion.

The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion.

Treat employees like partners, and they act like partners.

Treat employees like partners, and they act like partners.

All that the comedian has to show for his years of work and aggravation is...

All that the comedian has to show for his years of work and aggravation is...

An associate producer is the only guy in Hollywood who will associate with a producer.

An associate producer is the only guy in Hollywood who will associate with a producer.

Television is called a medium because anything good on it is rare.

Television is called a medium because anything good on it is rare.

Television is called a medium because anything good on it is rare

Television is called a medium because anything good on it is rare

It was this really bizarre video idea, this animated Power Ranger-y thing. I said, 'This...

It was this really bizarre video idea, this animated Power Ranger-y thing. I said, 'This...

Television is Democracy at it's ugliest.

Television is Democracy at it's ugliest.

As a woman I can't go to war, and I refuse to send anyone else

As a woman I can't go to war, and I refuse to send anyone else