Quotes by Dave Barry

Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

#Dave Barry

Never assume that the guy understands that you and he have a relationship.

#Dave Barry

My problem with chess was that all my pieces wanted to end the game as...

#Chess

Magnetism, as you recall from physics class, is a powerful force that causes certain items...

#Dave Barry

It was Public Art, defined as art that is purchased by experts who are not...

#Dave Barry

It is a well-documented fact that guys will not ask for directions. This is a...

#Dave Barry

It always rains on tents. Rainstorms will travel thousands of miles, against prevailing winds for...

#Dave Barry

In fact, when you get right down to it, almost every explanation Man came up...

#Dave Barry

In 1765, Parliament passed the Stamp Act, which, as any American high school student can...

#Dave Barry

If you were to open up a baby's head - and I am not for...

#Dave Barry

If you have a big enough dictionary, just about everything is a word.

#Dave Barry

If God had wanted us to be concerned for the plight of the toads, he...

#Dave Barry