What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death.

Quote by Dave Barry

Topics: Dave Barry Quotes

Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

Experts agree that the best type of computer for your individual needs is one that...

Experts agree that the best type of computer for your individual needs is one that...

I've noticed that one thing about parents is that no matter what stage your child...

I've noticed that one thing about parents is that no matter what stage your child...

I care about our young people, and I wish them great success, because they are...

I care about our young people, and I wish them great success, because they are...

To better understand why you need a personal computer, let's take a look at the...

To better understand why you need a personal computer, let's take a look at the...

Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely...

The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely...

The Democrats seem to be basically nicer people, but they have demonstrated time and again...

The Democrats seem to be basically nicer people, but they have demonstrated time and again...

People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to...

People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to...

We journalists make it a point to know very little about an extremely wide variety...

We journalists make it a point to know very little about an extremely wide variety...

If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has...

If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has...

If you were to open up a baby's head - and I am not for...

If you were to open up a baby's head - and I am not for...

What, exactly, is the internet? Basically it is a global network exchanging digitized data in...

What, exactly, is the internet? Basically it is a global network exchanging digitized data in...

Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in...

Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in...

People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to...

People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to...

As a child, I was more afraid of tetanus shots than, for example, Dracula.

As a child, I was more afraid of tetanus shots than, for example, Dracula.

My problem with chess was that all my pieces wanted to end the game as...

My problem with chess was that all my pieces wanted to end the game as...

Another possible source of guidance for teenagers is television, but television's message has always been...

Another possible source of guidance for teenagers is television, but television's message has always been...

I have a theory of relatives, too. Don't hire 'em.

I have a theory of relatives, too. Don't hire 'em.

Midlife crisis is that moment when you realize your children and your clothes are about...

Midlife crisis is that moment when you realize your children and your clothes are about...

One of the Internet's strengths is its ability to help consumers find the right needle...

One of the Internet's strengths is its ability to help consumers find the right needle...

Television and radio do a wonderful job in focusing attention on the problems of our...

Television and radio do a wonderful job in focusing attention on the problems of our...