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Once I found out how much an Off-Off-Broadway actor makes, I was whoring myself out...

Once I found out how much an Off-Off-Broadway actor makes, I was whoring myself out...

Pat O'Brien knows nothing. He's on the Hell express.

Pat O'Brien knows nothing. He's on the Hell express.

People want other people to know that they share our sensibility even if they're not...

People want other people to know that they share our sensibility even if they're not...

Sometimes we have to actually say, I think you're really funny, but none of your...

Sometimes we have to actually say, I think you're really funny, but none of your...

The first year or so on The Daily Show is pretty intense in terms of...

The first year or so on The Daily Show is pretty intense in terms of...

The head writer loves that my character is a boor.

The head writer loves that my character is a boor.

Apparently it's cool to watch The Daily Show.

Apparently it's cool to watch The Daily Show.

I remember saying in college that I would never do commercials.

I remember saying in college that I would never do commercials.

I touched an Oscar once. Friend of mine has one, for writing. As soon as...

I touched an Oscar once. Friend of mine has one, for writing. As soon as...

I want to manufacture a feud.

I want to manufacture a feud.

I was going out for absolutely everything that was in Backstage.

I was going out for absolutely everything that was in Backstage.

I've got like a week and a half left, all bets are off.

I've got like a week and a half left, all bets are off.

If people see me in some sort of niche, then that's fine. As long as...

If people see me in some sort of niche, then that's fine. As long as...

If you have a secret, people will sit a little bit closer.

If you have a secret, people will sit a little bit closer.

It's like every day I'm born anew, without Jesus.

It's like every day I'm born anew, without Jesus.

I don't know how this company got the name National Shakespeare Company, because it was...

I don't know how this company got the name National Shakespeare Company, because it was...

I get all of my comedy from CNN.

I get all of my comedy from CNN.

I have to stay true to myself.

I have to stay true to myself.