You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood and place it in the navel of a fruit fly, and still have room left for three caraway seeds and an agent's heart.

Quote by Fred Allen

Topics: Hollywood Quotes

I have just returned from Boston. It is the only sane thing to do if...

I have just returned from Boston. It is the only sane thing to do if...

The advertising world had space men in it before spacemen existed.

The advertising world had space men in it before spacemen existed.

Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.

Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.

Television is a device that permits people who haven't anything to do to watch people...

Television is a device that permits people who haven't anything to do to watch people...

The vice-president of an advertising agency is a bit of executive fungus that forms on...

The vice-president of an advertising agency is a bit of executive fungus that forms on...

Life, in my estimation, is a biological misadventure that we terminate on the shoulders of...

Life, in my estimation, is a biological misadventure that we terminate on the shoulders of...

Treat employees like partners, and they act like partners.

Treat employees like partners, and they act like partners.

The last time I saw him he was walking down lover's lane holding his own...

The last time I saw him he was walking down lover's lane holding his own...

A gentleman is any man who wouldn't hit a woman with his hat on.

A gentleman is any man who wouldn't hit a woman with his hat on.

I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the...

I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the...

I don't want to own anything that won't fit into my coffin.

I don't want to own anything that won't fit into my coffin.

I always have trouble remembering three things: faces, names, and - I can't remember what...

I always have trouble remembering three things: faces, names, and - I can't remember what...

Television is the triumph of machine over people.

Television is the triumph of machine over people.

What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement?

What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement?

Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for stars.

Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for stars.

You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood and place it in the navel of...

You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood and place it in the navel of...

When a radio comedian's program is finally finished it slinks down Memory Lane into the...

When a radio comedian's program is finally finished it slinks down Memory Lane into the...

Her hat is a creation that will never go out of style; it will just...

Her hat is a creation that will never go out of style; it will just...

An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission.

An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission.

I'd rather have a full bottle in front of me than a full frontal lobotomy.

I'd rather have a full bottle in front of me than a full frontal lobotomy.