Why don't you climb down off the cross, take the wood to build a bridge, and get over it!

Quote by Christopher Titus

Topics: Comedy Quotes, Life Quotes, Tragedy Quotes

It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always...

It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always...

I'll show you politics in America. Here it is, right here. 'I think the puppet...

I'll show you politics in America. Here it is, right here. 'I think the puppet...

We got so much food in America we're allergic to food. Allergic to food! Hungry...

We got so much food in America we're allergic to food. Allergic to food! Hungry...

To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love. But then, one...

To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love. But then, one...

Dinosaur fossils? God put those there to test our faith." Thank God I'm strapped in...

Dinosaur fossils? God put those there to test our faith.

And to answer the question that people have about this conspiracy theory that he has...

And to answer the question that people have about this conspiracy theory that he has...

No man can be a genius in slapshoes and a flat hat.

No man can be a genius in slapshoes and a flat hat.

Going to the bathroom is not a spectator sport.

Going to the bathroom is not a spectator sport.

Sex education may be a good idea in the schools, but I don't believe the...

Sex education may be a good idea in the schools, but I don't believe the...

They say pantomime's a lost art. It's never been a lost art and never will...

They say pantomime's a lost art. It's never been a lost art and never will...

[Mock singing] And shall my sword sleep in my hand [Speaking] NOT a good idea,...

[Mock singing] And shall my sword sleep in my hand [Speaking] NOT a good idea,...

Life is too serious to do farce comedy.

Life is too serious to do farce comedy.

Nobody sees people as people. It's all how they relate to my little group.

Nobody sees people as people. It's all how they relate to my little group.

Sex education may be a good idea in the schools, but I don't believe the...

Sex education may be a good idea in the schools, but I don't believe the...

Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.

Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.

Saturday Night Live is such a comedy boot camp in a way, because you get...

Saturday Night Live is such a comedy boot camp in a way, because you get...

Somebody come here and look at this...look at this...God damn cat drinking milk out the...

Somebody come here and look at this...look at this...God damn cat drinking milk out the...

Comedy just pokes at problems, rarely confronts them squarely. Drama is like a plate of...

Comedy just pokes at problems, rarely confronts them squarely. Drama is like a plate of...

Technology is changing our lives. It cannot and will not change what is fundamental to...

Technology is changing our lives. It cannot and will not change what is fundamental to...

They can conquer who believe they can. He has not learned the first lesson in...

They can conquer who believe they can. He has not learned the first lesson in...

The tragedy of war is that it uses man's best to do man's worst.

The tragedy of war is that it uses man's best to do man's worst.