Why don't you climb down off the cross, take the wood to build a bridge, and get over it!

Quote by Christopher Titus

Topics: Comedy Quotes, Life Quotes, Tragedy Quotes

My ex-girlfriend had a really weird fetish. She used to like to dress up as...

My ex-girlfriend had a really weird fetish. She used to like to dress up as...

It's just a ride and we can change it any time we want. It's only...

It's just a ride and we can change it any time we want. It's only...

When I see the American flag, I go, 'Oh my God, you're insulting me.'

When I see the American flag, I go, 'Oh my God, you're insulting me.'

People who say you're just as old as you feel are all wrong, fortunately.

People who say you're just as old as you feel are all wrong, fortunately.

We got so much food in America we're allergic to food. Allergic to food! Hungry...

We got so much food in America we're allergic to food. Allergic to food! Hungry...

I can't swim. I can't drive, either. I was going to learn to drive but...

I can't swim. I can't drive, either. I was going to learn to drive but...

The most protean aspect of comedy is its potentiality for transcending itself, for responding to...

The most protean aspect of comedy is its potentiality for transcending itself, for responding to...

Oh yeah drugs, ya gotta have drugs.

Oh yeah drugs, ya gotta have drugs.

It takes intelligence to make real comedy, and it takes a reality base to create...

It takes intelligence to make real comedy, and it takes a reality base to create...

I was watching Ashlee Simpson on Jay's show last night... She was really singing, and...

I was watching Ashlee Simpson on Jay's show last night... She was really singing, and...

Comedy is the last refuge of the nonconformist mind

Comedy is the last refuge of the nonconformist mind

NEW RULE: 'Kidiots' Leave the children behind. At least until they learn something. A new...

NEW RULE: 'Kidiots' Leave the children behind. At least until they learn something. A new...

God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad...

God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad...

Why isn't my life like a situation comedy? Why don't I have a bunch of...

Why isn't my life like a situation comedy? Why don't I have a bunch of...

Life is too serious to do farce comedy.

Life is too serious to do farce comedy.

Comedy is tragedy plus time.

Comedy is tragedy plus time.

James Caan told me at the end of filming 'Elf' that he had been waiting...

James Caan told me at the end of filming 'Elf' that he had been waiting...

The real sin against life is to abuse and destroy beauty, even one's own -even...

The real sin against life is to abuse and destroy beauty, even one's own -even...

Let your life lightly dance on the edges of Time like dew on the tip...

Let your life lightly dance on the edges of Time like dew on the tip...

We are condemned to kill time, thus we die bit by bit.

We are condemned to kill time, thus we die bit by bit.

The tragedy of war is that it uses man's best to do man's worst.

The tragedy of war is that it uses man's best to do man's worst.