I can't swim. I can't drive, either. I was going to learn to drive but then I thought, well, what if I crash into a lake?

Quote by Dylan Moran

Topics: Comedy Quotes, Driving Quotes

I have a very low level of recognition, which is fine by me.

I have a very low level of recognition, which is fine by me.

In the same way, there is some creature gnawing away inside of me, urging me...

In the same way, there is some creature gnawing away inside of me, urging me...

One thing that's coming up a lot is: are you as grumpy as you appear...

One thing that's coming up a lot is: are you as grumpy as you appear...

I can't swim. I can't drive, either. I was going to learn to drive but...

I can't swim. I can't drive, either. I was going to learn to drive but...

The characters can't be wittier than people are in real life. They have to be...

The characters can't be wittier than people are in real life. They have to be...

I think that women just have a primeval instinct to make soup, which they will...

I think that women just have a primeval instinct to make soup, which they will...

You achieve the surreal jokes through the realism by making it elastic.

You achieve the surreal jokes through the realism by making it elastic.

The trend now is to get away from stage bound sitcoms.

The trend now is to get away from stage bound sitcoms.

Money can't buy you love, but it can get you some really good chocolate ginger...

Money can't buy you love, but it can get you some really good chocolate ginger...

I never thought I want to do anything, really, except not go to work properly...

I never thought I want to do anything, really, except not go to work properly...

Showing off seemed to me to be a highly valuable and necessary activity when I...

Showing off seemed to me to be a highly valuable and necessary activity when I...

If I hadn't done this I might have ended up digging the roads.

If I hadn't done this I might have ended up digging the roads.

We are both drawn to surreal situations so the writing was a joy.

We are both drawn to surreal situations so the writing was a joy.

I don't really think of myself as an actor.

I don't really think of myself as an actor.

The truth is that I'm constitutionally incapable of doing an ordinary job.

The truth is that I'm constitutionally incapable of doing an ordinary job.

I don't do drugs. If I want a rush I just stand up when I'm...

I don't do drugs. If I want a rush I just stand up when I'm...

It's true that I have spoken about doing a book before, but then everyone you...

It's true that I have spoken about doing a book before, but then everyone you...

I think a lot of the time you just parody yourself.

I think a lot of the time you just parody yourself.

I thought The Office was good, though I didn't think of it as a sitcom,...

I thought The Office was good, though I didn't think of it as a sitcom,...

Black Books adheres to a more old fashioned, traditional sitcom format, which I think works,...

Black Books adheres to a more old fashioned, traditional sitcom format, which I think works,...